A
female
age
51-59,
*atherine2081
writes:I have posted lots before. I am at a stage I don't know whether to call it a day on my relationship or not. My husband of 8 months are both in second relationships with kids me three him two. We have had loads of problems as he has favoured his and had problems with my family my ex through the last year and a half. We come to resolves regarding the issues like my father or my ex and then the problems come back round again. Worst bit is if he gets upset over something he pouts doesn't speak to me and makes the atmosphere awful. He's on medication for depression and antipsychotic tendencies and messes with his medication all the time. That leads to him thinking I'm talking with my father about him or one of the kids did something that upsets him (which could be exactly something he's done or his kids before) but because it's him or his he makes a huge fuss which results in him going to bed and blanking me even if it's nothing to do with me. I love him but I'm getting increasingly upset and frustrated and am biting back. We are destroying the love we once had but I can't get him to talk to me and not hold grudges. Is it time I went?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2017): Your partner is favoring his kids over yours, that says a lot in itself. If he loves you, he should love your kids and his kids equally...no favoritism. Secondly, you said he pouts and makes the atmosphere awful when you fight, that is not a good thing. You need to forgive and forget in relationships, especially with children around.It sounds like he isn't being true to himself (or you) if he is messing with his own medication. If he had enough self respect, he would recognize that he has a serious mental illness and will do whatever he can to ensure he is taking the medication to improve his life. I've been around a friend with the same mental illness....it was horrible when she skipped her meds or under medicated herself. I know that you love him but it sounds like he isn't treating you the way you deserve to be treated. I think you both should sit down and have a serious talk about your relationship. Are you able to set some rules and boundaries about him taking his meds? Tell him how it makes you feel when he messes with his medication. Does he remember episodes the day after and is he able to talk about them? It would be good to also bring up a few episodes (politely) as a result of him not taking his meds and once again how it made you and your kids feel. Also, I think you should tell him that you feel he is favoring his own kids over yours and how it is affecting not only you but your kids too. Tell him your kids need him just as much too.If he is willing to listen and attempt improve himself, I think you should give it another chance. If it turns into a full blown argument, I think you should leave. If he loves you enough, he will listen to you and do whatever he can to improve himself and the situation.And even if he doesn't listen and you end up leaving, you can always tell him that you love him and you want to be with him but until he shows signs of improvement, you and your kids need to be alone. He might realise in the end how much you mean to him and he will change his ways.Good Luck.
A
female
reader, matimoo  +, writes (16 April 2017):
Your husband needs you more than ever right now. And he needs professional help. These kinds of issues cannot be fixed with a quick kiss or reassuring word. He needs to talk to a specialist, and, if he refuses, you need to drag him there. He needs to understand his role in raising the kids and loving them.
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