A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My mum and dad split up when i was 7! My mum moved away and i stayed with my dad with my 2 older brothers! Not through choice: i was too young to realise what was going on. Anyway my dad ended up drinking all the time, my brothers were never in because they're 8 yrs older and was doing there own thing and also avoiding our dad! I ended up being at my grans more often (dad's mum) over a few years. She really looked after me. I dont remember why but me and my dad ended up moving in with my gran. And not long after this he started using heroine! He was very selfish toward my gran who helped him the best he could. She was ill with cancer which is why i think we moved in. I went everywhere with my gran and we even shared the same bed! My dad wasn't really around, and although he lived there too i dont remember him being involved! I seem to only remember the bad stuff. When i was 11 my gran died with cancer and me and my dad moved back into our own house, which was uncared for; he never cooked meals or did any washings and ended up selling drugs and getting in to trouble with the police! My schooling was affected and i left when i was 14. i ended up moving to ireland where my mother moved to but couldnt settle in any school and missed home. Everything was very confusing! I moved back with my dad at one point when i was about 13 and all i ever heard from him was about money and him telling me he has cancer and he was always ill but nothing ever happened to him! Im 23 now and to this day he he is the same! He's a chronic alcoholic and uses heroine! He never visits or asks about his grand children; what i have put on her doesn't even scratch the surface! My dad has had a very big impact on my life by the things hes done. But now..i have noticed over the past few months i keep having these dreams about my gran! And it wont stop, i miss her loads of course but i think about her constantly and i have dreams about her old house constantly , I'm always helping her in dreams! And i could actually smell her at one point! Does anyone think I'm overthinking my past or might know why im dreaming about her all the time?? Hope this isn't too difficult to understand :) x
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female
reader, goldie22 +, writes (13 November 2011):
Your.past in some ways is so familiar to mine. Im 23 too and my grandmother passed when i was 12 i miss her alot and she crosses my mind most days. It is normal to think of somebody like that when you loved them so much. I wont push my beliefs on you but I am sure that she is with you still in many ways in heart and spirit. Our loved ones will always be with us. Try not to let the fact that you dream of her be a sad or worrying thing. I often dream of my grandmother when i feel like i need her love and comfort the most.
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