A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I feel like there is something wrong with me, I am really embarrassed by sex and get shy talking about it so much so that I have always ignored the fact. I have been tryng to face my shyness and have started fooling around with guy eg kissing, hand-jobs and I am starting to feel a bit more relaxed. He is very experienced and is kind of showing me what to do. He likes the fact that I let him lead as he says it turns him on.Problem he know wants to go further and a huge part of me wants to as well but I am not on the pill and because of my age he already thinks I am.And we have probably been lucky that nothing has happened so far.Do guys thinks it's strange a woman my age not being on the pill and having no experience.I once went to my GP to ask to go on the pill and I couldn't do it as I was to embarrassed.Do you have to go your GP for the pill.
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (7 June 2010):
 You should use a condom at first to avoid STD's. You don't have to ask for them and I'm sure the guy you're seeing would be happy to go pick them up. The pill should only be used in a long-term committed relationship, like chigirl said. Most single women aren't on it unless they are having a lot of sex and need a backup. The pill has a lot of side-effects so most women don't enjoy being on it unless they are in a long-term relationship and get the benefits of "freer" sex.
A
female
reader, laetitia  +, writes (6 June 2010):
 No, most guys do not think it is strange for a woman not to be on the pill or not have experience. Most men realize that this is usually a woman's decision and they respect that decision. The decision to be or not to be on the pill may be influenced by a lot of different considerations - some women are afraid of side effects that may be associated with the pill. Having no experience does not mean that there is something wrong with you either, but just means that you prefer to not have too many partners. I also don't like having too many partners.
You can go to the GP and say "Hi Dr, I was wondering if I can get a prescription for oral contraception because I now have a boyfriend and would like to protect myself from pregnancy". He or she will be more than happy to assist you. This is how I got the pill from my GP, when i was in a relationship.
If you do decide to take it to the next step, remember - the pill does not protect you from STDs. You still need to use a condom. Best thing is to ask your guy to go and get tested before you two do anything. Most bfs do not mind as this is an act of being responsible.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (6 June 2010):
 Id like to also add a point that chigirl brought up (I was writing my post when she added).
If you are not in a serious long term relationship, it might be worth considering if you want to be pumping chemicals into your body day in day out. Just because of your age does not automatically mean you HAVE to be on the pill. If your boyfriend thinks that then he is rather stupid.
The pill is basically altering the hormone levels in your body, and that is very unnatural. If you are unsure, maybe use condoms for a while?
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (6 June 2010):
Firstly, I want to let you know you are not on your own, and you are not strange at all. I am your age, and also inexperienced, and there is nothing wrong with that.
I went on the pill a couple of years ago, because things were beginning to get sexual with my then "boyfriend" (I use the term loosely now - he was a prat) and it is something you need to get sorted, well before you plan on having sex.
You have to got to the Doctors, but you can see a GP or a Nurse at your local surgery, as it is a prescribed medicine, and they have to give you a once over to check you will be ok with it. As with any medicines there ARE side effects, so they have to be careful. It will just be a case of weighing you, checking blood pressure, family history of things like strokes, depression, heart conditions. Anything that could put you at risk from taking a medicine. They will not do an examination of your private areas.
What I will say is that there are many types and brands, and what works for one woman, may not work for you. Each pill can give you side effects or you may feel 100% ok with it, but it takes about 3 months for your body to fully adjust to the hormones that you are putting into it.
The pill I took was terrible, and because I was inexperienced I carried on with it, even tho I should have asked to be swapped to a different brand. The Nurse told me just to persevere, and it would even out once I was used to it. I only took it for 3 months, and it turned me into a suicidal emotional wreck, and even now, I still am overly emotional about things, which I was never like before. This is just my story, but when you do get it, if you have any problems, or you think it is not doing you any good, that you go straight back to the Dr and get the pill changed to a different one. Don't let them fob you off. From other people I have heard some women can try 5 or 6 brands before you find the right one, others are happy with the first one they try, its all down to the individual person.
The pill also takes a good week to become effective, so you should also use condoms during that time. If you are sick or taking other medicine that can also make the pill fail, so you should use condoms then too. Always be safe rather than sorry.
There is nothing to be embarassed about tho. You are a grown woman, and going to ask for the pill is nothing, compared to having a baby and being poked and prodded and having everyone looking at your privates. What is going to be worse?
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 June 2010):
 You only go on the pill if you are in a long term relationship. The pill takes around a week before it works so is not for unplanned sex. The pill also has a lot of bieffects so that it is not advised to be on it when you are not sexually active. And by that I mean: not having sex regularly. If he expects you to be on the pill while you are single, just because of your age, he's not that bright.
And yes you go to your GP or to a free clinic for the pill. And please, don't think you can have sex without protection, you might be pregnant as we speak and just not know it yet. Shyness doesn't excuse ignorance. Get a pregnancy test and be HONEST with this guy. Use a condom from now on until you build up enough courage to ask your GP for the pill.
Maybe you could even write it on a note to hand the GP so you wont have to say it out loud if you are too shy. And get a pregnancy test.
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