A
female
age
36-40,
*ueannstep
writes: I have been so troubled lately. My bf and I broke up just over a month ago. We were together for five years, and I am having trouble moving on. I initiated the break because I had not been happy for quite some time. My feelings for him started to change about three years in when he told me that he was having serious doubts about our impending marriage. The reasons he gave then had to do with issues he had with my small breasts. I was so hurt and angry, but I didn't give up. We took time apart and when we got back together, I realized he had been seeing another girl. I know he didn't sleep with her, but that is all I know. He must have apologized dozens and dozens of times, and did everything afterward to make me feel better, including axing the other girl completely (he did this without me asking) and trying to remedy what he had said about my breasts... even with all of this, my feelings began to change. I had severe self esteem issues and I was angry at him so much for throwing away what we had by lying to me. In the next few months we broke up, got back together and I tried to find comfort in talking to other men, which really upset him, but nothing seemed to work. I really did try... but I realized that the only time I felt happy thinking about my future was when I thought about not being in a relationship at all. I have mixed feelings. I feel guilty for leaving. I feel good to finally be on my own. I feel angry sometimes when I think of how happy we once were and how things have changed... but most of all, I just miss him. I miss him as a friend. He really understood me and we just got the same things. I feel tempted to call him and just have a normal conversation with him.. but I know I can't because he doesn't want to be in my life as just a friend. I had a weak moment and did call him, but it was just more of the same and he told me he didn't think he could ever be my friend. This makes me so incredibly sad. Is it selfish of me to want him in my life? It doesn't have to be now... but in time? Should I just give up hope of him being a part of my life and move on? He is so, so dear to me... I just can't be with him anymore. Thinking about this makes my heart drop... there's a big part of me that is just... hollow.
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breasts, broke up, got back together, move on, self esteem Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (10 March 2010):
 No one can predict the future . If you don't lose hope, one day in the not too distant future, the possibility of coming back together may be bright.
If you share the same destiny, you will meet again in another place and another time.
Good friends will leave footprints forever in our heart. Friends come and go and we can only bless them and wish them well.
A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (10 March 2010):
 Dear, I valued 'love,' so I choose to advise you some positive point.
What ever thought you both may posses, but you both are in deepest love, and quite childishly you both allow, very small 'cause' to create unpleasant event-separation!!!
Small breast? it is not at all 'cause', and if commented by your man, it is not at all serious matter, not against relationship. Great pleasure is creation, and created by feeling of love, and not by measurement of body. You both may have experience this truth. Please correct your attitude, as it is not delayed yet.
Please forgive and forget- love is great like GOD, just respect your inner feeling.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2010): As a man,i will tell you,the small breasts issue alone is every reason to keep well away. Has he got a big willy? Should have told him your ex had one twice the size of his.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (10 March 2010):
Well you'll get over it. I know that's not what you want to hear, but a month isn't nearly long enough to get over a 5-year relationship. There are things that you're going to miss about him and especially when you're feeling blue it's easy to just think about the good things and ignore all the bad things. And from experience and just my opinion, you can't be friends with an ex until at least a year later. That means that both people have moved on and no longer have feelings like they once did for one another.
You need to remember the resentment that grew inside you from him having "issues" with the size of your breasts. Wow, how shallow is that? And that's just a weird excuse. And honey, please don't be so gullible that you fully believe that he didn't sleep with that other girl. You know nothing about their relationship besides that they didn't sleep together? Anyway, that's not very important. But things didn't work out before the past couple times you two broke up and got back together and it won't work another time.
We've all just about felt the way you have. Try being the one that gets dumped and not even seeing it coming, that's pretty bad. But this guy doesn't do anything for your self esteem, your partner should bring out the best in you, not the worst. Just remember that you were unhappy in the relationship and the reasons why things didn't work out. They're easy to throw to the side, but write them all down and when you start thinking of the good things; look at your list of why you broke up with him. Just take everything a day at a time and you still have a lot of healing to do. There's probably going to be a few more times when you get weak, but remember that you're stronger than that. Things will get better in time, promise :)
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