| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I feel that someone from outside could understand myself better than I could and that my worth depends on how that person evaluates me. Especially I think like this for any girls I form a relationship with. If she criticizes me or talk things I shared with her with others whom I don't really trust, it hurts my ego. Is it safe to be dependent on someone in a relationship? If yes, to what extent? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2007): Firstly, nobody can demoralize you without your emotional consent..never give it. Other than that, a co-dependant relationship leads to another having control over you which is not safe. You should value your own opinions and values above that of others (although this does not mean ignore others' opinions).
You need to trust yourself more than those around you, and believe in yourself. Self-trust and belief is the key to your happiness and emotional health.
Take Care
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (10 April 2007):
I would say its a big no, its not ok to be as 100% dependent on someone. Yes to an extent is ok. But where do you draw the line is the question you are asking. I would say that when somoene basis their self opinion on what someone else thinks of them, is where you draw the line. It's not healthy or ok to basis your self-value on what someone else thinks of you/how they act towards you etc. This is because there are always going to be people who treat you badly, who don't see you for all that you can be, who will criticize you, who don't love you etc, but that doesnt mean you are not worthy of love or anything like that.
You have to learn to love yourself for you. Not for what other people love you for. Realise that without this person in your life you have A LOT going for you, whether it be your great sense of humour, caring and sensitive nature, ability to see the bright side of things, friendly face etc...anything. These are all qualities that you have with OR without someone.
It's hard to learn to love yourself and not let your self value depend on what others think of you, I know because I use to do it myself. But there is a point you will probably reach if you continue doing htis, where someone can love you sooo much and value you alot, but you will realise that you STILL don't value or truly love yoruself. Once you do accomplish this, alot can change- for the better.
...............................
|
