A
male
age
41-50,
*rotter
writes:I'm in a relationship with a guy for the last 3-4 months. We started off as best friends, and I've never felt such a connection with someone before. Initially I knew he was attracted to me, but I resisted as I was playing something out with someone else. I eventually did end up starting with him, but it seems to have been based more on our fantastic connection than on the physical side of things. I think he's cute, but the shallower side of me seems unsatisfied. I don't know what to do, as the thought of breaking up with him tears me apart. At the same time I'm feeling a lot of emotional turmoil at the moment. I really want this to work, but I can't get over these thoughts that maybe its not for me? This is my first serious relationship really, and I wonder if the problem is more with me than it is with the relationship. There are so many good points and I find it hard to believe I could meet anyone better than him - but these doubts are haunting me and causing me a lot of strife. Help!
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male
reader, trotter +, writes (10 April 2007):
trotter is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIf I really like him, then why am I having doubts?
I think the doubts are coming from a physical perspective more than any other. I wonder, could I find someone better looking sometimes? I know that's shallow, but I don't seem to be able to shake the thoughts. I feel he's a wonderful person, and he'd do anything for me - and we connect so well, he truly understands me, and me him. We're not without problems, but they've generally tended to centre around this - him feeling I don't have much passion for him, and me thinking now since he brought it up, that perhaps he's right. But it kills me to think that I could let such a good relationship slide away because of this. Part of me thinks that I'd go on the dating scene again, and realise that the things that the shallower side of me seems to crave are 'out of my league' so to speak... and at that stage there would be no way back. I don't want to play with his affections at all. Any thoughts anyone?
I'd really appreciate any and all viewpoints...
Thanks for your reply
A
female
reader, Dr nandi  +, writes (10 April 2007):
If you really like him,why are you having doubts?
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