A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it safe or a good idea to go clubbing on my own?All my friends are settled or far away. If i want a night out i have to go on my own I have done it a few times i feel like people are looking at me thinking im pathetic with no friends or im a slut looking to be picked up.I am single I havnt met a nice guy on a night out yet.The last night I went out i met a creep i knew years ago he was all over me trying to get me to drink and stay over with him i didnt feel safe at all. I did a runner to get away from. any advice.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2014): Going clubbing solo as a female = asking for trouble.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2014): Not a good idea! I have done it a few times, simply because I wanted to have a good dance in the club. Not a good idea and you are most certainly prey. Join a dance club and have a drink there with people who are more sober than drunk and enjoying the social side of the night out. You may end up finding a dance partner who you like.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2014): Hmm, I personally would not choose going alone to CLUBS. Other venues, yes, but not clubs. If it was like a jazz club, or even a bar with some entertainment than yes, but club atmosphere is very different.
I am talking from own experience. I travel quite a bit, and go everywhere by myself. Only once I desided to go a club. 2 guys within 5 minutes offered me to go in a car and make out.
May be you are right, they look differently at girls who come to club by themselves.
Guys are very much sex oriented when it comes to venues like clubs. There is plenty of alcogol and drugs going around! And this ussualy leads to free and easy lay. A girl alone seems more vulnerable than others in group, and so easy prey.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (8 May 2014):
 A lot of men will spot a woman coming into and leaving a club alone a mile off. Most of them will offer to "protect you", "look out for you" or "make sure your safe"...obviously with an alterior motive! I would avoid it for your own safety.Plus, being alone on a night out can cause a person to loose their judgement. You see everyone else in groups or couples enjoying each others company and having fun and suddenly it looks oh so tempting to take up the offer of a lift home, one more drink, etc or to end up chatting to people you would normally avoid and end up in a situation one would not normally be in as a result. I agree with WIse Owl in that as an adult you have the right to go out with whom you like and when you like. You SHOULD have the right to do that in total safety and enjoyment. However that is not the world we live in. Lone women, out at night, especially where competitive males and alcohol are concerned, are very vunerable. Sadly a lot of women (and men for that matter) THINK they are street wise and can handle themselves, only to find out the opposite is true when something bad happens. " I have done it a few times i feel like people are looking at me thinking im pathetic with no friends or im a slut looking to be picked up" For your own safety as much as anything else, you don't want anyone thinking you are pathetic with no friends as you will be a target for men looking to spike your drink, take advantage or follow you home. Neither do you want men with far too much attitude and alcohol thinking you are available to anyone who wants it. If you do go out alone then its important not too appear alone if that makes sense. If you stand out as being alone in a club a lot of blokes are going to try and take full advantage of that. Neither do you want to dress in a way which is likely to attract the wrong kind of attention. Again you SHOULD be able to dress however you like but in reality certain styles shall we say are likely to give men the come on. As WIse Owl said, also be wary of other females. There are a lot of women involved in crimes, gangs, etc now and a female seeming to want to help you get home safe may well be not what she appears. I don't want to scare you or put you off, I just want to stop you being a victim. Clubs are environments which can attract predators, date rappers, aggression, competition between testosterone and alcohol filled men, criminals and people who have had too much to drink or are under the influence. Its also better for a woman to share a taxi WITH SOMEONE SHE KNOWS WELL on the way home. Most Taxi drivers are honest and well meaning. Some are not. Its not unknown for Taxi drivers to commit appalling crimes against lone women who thought they were safe in the back of a car with a professional. Also rogue taxi drivers will spot a lone women a mile off. I would stick to meeting people through hobbies, work, friends, internet dating, etc. Clubbing fine if you want to get laid but not great for meeting a long term partner.
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A
female
reader, jham  +, writes (8 May 2014):
Don't drink when you're alone. It's not safe. You can go clubbing but guys don't take someone serious when they meet a girl in the club. You can make new friends and get to know them better.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (8 May 2014):
It totally depends on where you want to go. Also, you shouldn't drink, or if you do, be very careful with your drink and stick to 2 drinks, no more.
My sister in law had something put into her drink but she was fortunate enough to have people she trusted with her to help her get home.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2014): I think you should always consider the lighting outside the club, and the neighborhood. You shouldn't consume too much alcohol, and always park in a well-lighted area. Close to your destination.
It's best to take a cab when you're alone, and don't accept rides from strangers. Not even other females. Never leave a drink unattended, or turn your back to your glass. Take it with you if you stand. Do not leave a drink to go to the restroom, when you're alone. Finish the drink first. If you have a full drink; and you're asked to dance, politely decline.
This is often a ploy to separate you from your drink, while someone slips something into it. Predators go to clubs looking for girls drinking alone.
You have a right to fly solo wherever you please. Just play it safe.
Even men have to be careful clubbing alone; because anyone can be mugged or robbed. If you can afford it, I recommend more upscale clubs; or fine restaurants with a bar. When you are short on friends, you have to make friends with cousins in your age-group. Even a sibling. They make excellent clubbing companions.
Clubbing is only good, if you're looking for people to have fun with, and maybe date a few times. Nothing too serious.
Women who travel alone really have to be able to handle themselves in uncomfortable situations with men. You should always inform club management and security when you feel threatened, or a man will not leave you alone. Head straight for the bouncer; or ask for help from the bartender.
Safety should always be your concern. It's hard to tell a grown-woman not to go home with a stranger. Just know the risk. Always have mace spray and condoms.
It would be so much better to arrange a future date; and meet at a restaurant or coffeehouse, on another occasion.
That will let a guy know you're not desperate, you will meet under more sober/relaxed conditions; and determine if he is actually single and available. Night having a night out while his girlfriend or wife is out of town.
If you meet someone at a club, you should take HIS number. You'll call him. Suggest going out some other time. He can always arrange a date when you call him. This is a good way to determine if he's truly interested. Guys always get the option to ask for your number first. Flip the script. When alone, always keep the upper-hand.
That's how you get rid of guys stalking you for a one-night stand. They'll never call unless it's for a booty call. A clue, he will insist you give him your number. So he can keep it on his list. You'll always be waiting for that call.
Let someone close know when you're going out alone. Let them know when you make it home safe.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2014): I wouldn't, personally. As a lone female in an environment like that I'd always feel a bit too vulnerable.
How about joining a group which organises clubbing events/parties etc. on Meetup.com? That way you'll be able to go out with people you 'know' (at least a tiny bit). You might even meet someone you click with as part of the group, who knows.
To be honest I don't think a club is the ideal place to meet a guy you might want to have a relationship with but I guess if you never try you'll never know. Good luck, and stay safe!
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