A
female
age
36-40,
*esha
writes:I dont want to love him anymore.For months of our relationship i found out that he had a live in partner and they are living together,ofcourse. Three months when we're together i found out that she was fregnant but i love him so much and i can't go on without him. He said he love me too as much as i loved him. I decided to stay with him no matter what. We tried to keep his status from my family,friends and co-employee. I never want someone get hurt thats why we keep it as much as we can. And now we are about two years in our relationship and the baby is about 1year old and i thought he had been telling me everything but just last month i found out that she's again fregnant. I don't know what to do anymore but i'm still staying with him bcoz he said he cant go on without me but i cant take it anymore. I love him but is it right to stay with this relationship when i'm actually hurting myself so bad? I don't know how to tell him that i need to set myself free so i can breathe. I know i deserved better,afterall i been giving him everything. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): You were cheating with this man who had a partner and a baby.You still chose to be with him knowing he had a partner and a baby.Now his partner is pregnant again.This man you are cheating with will not change.If u can even start valuing yourself u will realise that u have decided to be a homewrecker: in this process u will not win. You even tried to have a baby with him but this failed. So Karma has wrecked havoc in your life. U will not be free until you rid yourself from this man. He belongs home with his partner and 2 babies.Your affair is over.LoveGirl
A
female
reader, Resha +, writes (9 April 2011):
Resha is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys for all the advice, it really helped me a lot. For now, i'm still with him but i just waited for the right timing to tell him that i need to move on and find myself. Thinking about living my life w/o him i was really unsure bcoz God knows i already used to it having him beside me. I always pray to God to help me heal my heart. Its really hard to moved on when you painted your life w/ him but i know i need to face the truth. I can't tell my parents about it bcoz they trusted him a lot and i might get them so disappointed. For almost two years of our relationship many things had happened that changed my life. The most painful part of all was when i get pregnant but i lost it,that day i asked God for reasons and i couldn't find it but now i did. I told myself maybe that baby wasn't really meant for me bcoz sooner i'll find out about this part. I was only 24 and he was 31 but the pain is too much to handle for my age. My mother said i'm still a baby girl but i ruined my life, i ruined her dreams. Sometimes, i just wish to wake up one morning feeling my heart beat for no one, i think that would feel better.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2011): Do you think he thinks about how much he loves you when he's having sex with her? Or might I suggest how much he likes it if you went on a date with another man?
This is not love between you, its unhealthy for you benefitial for him, two for the price of one (since you apparently keep your status secret)
I suggest you run before this coward messes up your life and emotions, I pray its not too late for you.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, sweetiebabes  +, writes (9 April 2011):
 Have the courage to get out of this relationship, he doesn't love you.
It will be very difficult to let go of a person you love so much but if you love yourself more, you need to do the right thing for yourself.
Move on... don't look back.
take care.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (9 April 2011):
 Resha, tell your family and friends the truth, tell them how sad you are that you were so blinded by love that you kept the truth a secret from them.
Your family and friends love you, unlike this man, ask them for help and they will help you stay away from him and help you get your life back together.
There is no future for you with this man, he is using you as a plaything, or a toy, you are not a toy, you are a living, breathing being who deserves better.
You need to just turn your back and keep on walking, and when he tries to talk to you, or contact you, in your head just keep walking away. You deserve better than this, and so do those babies he has and his wife, he is a cheater and a user.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2011): Hi. I think your hurting yourself too much just because of that guy. You can find more guys who are without commitments. Just think of the child. Or better yet, let me ask you this question. If you are the live-in partner of the guy, what would you feel when despite on living with him for a long time you would suddenly know that he is cheating on you the whole time? And just a follow up question, if the guy does not loved the girl after all, why do they have child and another baby to come?
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (9 April 2011):
 Are you saying that your boyfriend is sleeping with his female roommate and she is pregnant by him?
If so, LEAVE.
He doesn't need you, and you most certainly don't need him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2011): From what you have wrote, your partner has cheated on you multiple times and is going to have now two children.
Take a moment to imagine what it would be like if you were with your perfect partner. For this experiment, you need to make up a man, someone you dont know. Use your imagination! Imagine loving him, living with him, taking walks together, sharing, etc. Imagine the joy you have with this perfect partner.
Now think about the man you are with now. What is going to make you stay with him knowing that you have waiting for you someone who is going to love you unconditionally?
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