A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have this question that keeps bugging my mind..I am in a relationship right now but we're on a long distance relationship..It seems like our relationship right now is kinda shaky or I may not healthy anymore..We're almost 2 years and 10 months now...If you we're to ask me,i never get attractive to anyone else as much as i want to for the reason that i'm in a relationship...And i have this doubt also towards my boyfriend whose in UK right now that he's seeing someone else there..I say that because everything has been changed,we seldom talk on the phone,chat and he didn't even bothered to email me..Lately Cupid,i've met this guy, actually he's a friend of my officemate.And i don't know i am attracted to him though he's not that goodlooking, everytime we chat i feel happy and ive discovered we have things in common.Sometimes i asked myself if is this right? i mean is it right for me to feel this way knowing i have a boyfriend?
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female
reader, sweetiebabes +, writes (16 April 2010):
 You have to weigh things about your relationship with your LDR BF and with this new guy.
There is nothing really wrong with your feelings, you are looking for something that can fill the gap that your LDR Bf couldn't give. I suggest you talk openly with your LD Bf, have a heart to heart talk with him on how he makes you feel, just be open and honest. Make him understand of your needs, don't be afraid to speak what is in your heart and mind but don't disclose you're meeting a new guy. Perhaps and most likely, your Bf in Uk, will make changes and work things out between you two. But if he is meeting someone else, and he is not serious with you, you can tell him you have a life to move on and you deserve to know the truth of the status of your relationship and not put you in a hanging position.
The choice will still be yours, think what is best for you that makes you happy. BE HAPPY :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2010): I don't think we can really control the way we feel, so it isn't wrong for you to have these feelings. And from the situation you have described, I can completely understand why you may be attracted to your male friend. He is giving you attention that you are not receiving from your boyfriend, and that must be feel so nice.
So, I don't think it is wrong for you to feel the way you do. However, what I DO think is important is what you choose to do about your feelings. That is what counts - how you act now, what you do. You could try and tell your boyfriend how you are feeling, that you feel neglected and are wondering if he has a girlfriend in the UK. Maybe if you try and have a serious talk with him about this, it might help to improve things. At the very least, he will know how you feel, and may be in a position to do something about it.
Or you could say nothing to your boyfriend, and let things continue. What do you think will happen if things carry on as they are? Do you think you may grow closer to your male friend? Could the whole situation become complex? Do you think you might start to feel torn between your boyfriend and this other guy? Is the relationship with your boyfriend worth saving, in your eyes? Or are you feeling that you have had enough, and would like a clean break?
I think these are some things you may need to think about, to decide what you would like to do. From the fact that you have asked this question, I get the impression that you are feeling guilty about your feelings towards your friend...so deep down, you think something is not right about this situation. But like I said, I personally don't think it is wrong to feel the way you do - on the contrary, it is understandable. But what counts is what you choose to do about it.
The choice really is yours, and I am not trying to suggest that there is a right or wrong choice to make here. I would never judge you, your situation or your feelings. Only you can do that...so have a good think, listen to what your heart and head are telling you to do, and make the choice that feels right for you. Good luck. x
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