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Is it right or wrong to tell your boyfriend that someone he thought was a friend said bad things about him before we got together?

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 November 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 21 November 2009)
A age 51-59, * writes:

Is it right or wrong to tell your boyfriend that someone he thought was a friend said bad things about him before we got together? Or does it just drag me to her level to tell? Background: This girl possibly had a thing for my boyfriend before we got together, but she was never really sure of her feelings. She called him her best friend, but he said they didn't think they were that close at all. When she found out I was going to date him, she got mad because I didn't want him to go out to casual lunches with her, which was okay with him. She told me he had cheated on a past gf (a very long time ago), and that he was a cheater and that once a cheater always a cheater. I've been holding that in and wondering if I should say anything.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

When my bf and I first got together, I asked him if he'd cheated. He was honest and told me the story and it was when he was really young.

This girl was a friend of mine too, but now acts wierd to both of us. I think she is jealous that I'm dating him. Not necessarily because she wants to date him, but because he won't be friends with her the same as they used to be because of her unsure feelings of him in the past.

Bad thing is we all work together in close quarters. So we have to be professional. It just kills me when she stops and talks to him though because of her wierd behavior. I totally trust him not to cheat with her. That's not the issue really. It's that she was good friends with both of us, and now you never know if she's going to stop talking to one of us for 3 weeks and then speak, or what. It is drama that I wish wasn't there.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2009):

Sounds like a case of jealousy. I wouldn't take too much note of it.

Saying anything to your boyfriend now could cause too many fights between him, his friend and you if they turn out to be untrue.

If it starts to eat you then ask him about his past relationships rather than jump the deep end and ask him if he cheats.

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