A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:It’s been four years since my I broke up with this one guy. It was not amicable at all. At that time, he was still in love but for reasons to detailed to list, the relationship was over for me. We work at the same place and do not speak to one another. However, I was thinking that may be we can be friends now or at least civil. Is it a good idea to attempt being on normal terms with your ex? And is it possible to do this without making them think that you want them back?I spoke to a friend about this and she told me that I should not do anything as it might end up hurting him since I don’t like him at all. I don’t know if he’s seeing someone but I do think it’s safe to be friends with your ex when they are seeing someone new. My friend (again) thinks it’s not a good idea. In her words, I should ‘have mercy’ on the guy since if he's seeing someone then the girl might not like it or I might mess with his head. Isn’t it presumptuous to think your ex wants you and is in love with you no matter whatever has happened in their lives since?
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (14 August 2010):
 yes its presumtuous but you friend has a point, he may not have moved on especially if you were out of his league in the first place. if being friends doesn't come naturally for you two then dont try to force it, as you might end up with him being over amorous and another row could happen.
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