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Is it really over between us?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 July 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 23 July 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, *tella19 writes:

How long do breaks in a relationship last? My boyfriend and I of two years have just had a son together and all the extra stress that goes with it. We've been fighting more. And he wanted to break up so I packed my things then he changed to I need to thing about what I wana do. Its been five days and I haven't heard from him. He hasn't asked me to get my things but hasn't asked me to come back. How long will this last?

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A male reader, RAINORFIRE United States +, writes (23 July 2009):

RAINORFIRE agony auntwow thats terrible I think you need to figure out what your going to do for the long term this bf doesnt seem very responsible instead of putting his gf and his child out he should have gone to a hotel or a friends for his break is this the type of you really want to entrust you and your child's well being to. this man needs to gro up and realize when you create a life you no longer can live just for your self your actions and decisions affect others.

You need to get yourself set up so you can provide for your self and your child and be independant because you wont be able to fully depend on this man, if you preoccupy your self with getting yourself set you wont ahve time to be wondering when this guy will call and dont call him exept to collect child support but have the courts do that

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A female reader, LittleMissPlum Canada +, writes (23 July 2009):

LittleMissPlum agony auntI think five days is a pretty short time period. He probably needs time to think things through, which can easily take a week or more. The longer you go without calling him, the more time for him to think about how much he loves and misses you. I know some people may disagree with this, but my advice is dont call him, for at least 10 days, let him contact you... which I would assume he would within the 10 day time period. If he still doesn't call after that, then give him a call and just straight up as him what he has decided, what does he want to do. I know that five days probably feels like an eternity right now, my bf used to do that and not call for 3 days and I remember how agonizing that was, but I always waited for him to call first (he was the one who usually screwed things up) and he always would call, sooner or later he will call.

If you start calling him and begging him to return, your chances of getting back together get smaller. He needs to have enough time to miss you, to realize that he needs you. Give him some time. Be strong. You already did the right thing by moving out and not begging him to stay. You can do this.

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