A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years. We live together, we love each other, and like every relationship we have our problems but I can see myself marrying him someday.Last week I met a guy that has a lot of the same interests as I do. He is in a long-term relationship as well, and we exchanged numbers just as friends.Since then (less than a week ago) we have gone out for dinner, coffee twice, to the gym, and texted each other many times a day.I am confused. I love making new friends but this seems and feels different. I understand what I am getting out of this friendship: I love the attention, we have a lot of fun together, and it is nice to have someone that wants to hang out and do things all of the time (my boyfriend is much more of a homebody than I am). But I do not understand what he is getting out of it. Is it possible that he really enjoys female friends and is not expecting anything more from me? I know I shouldn't be suspicious, I have many male friends, but none of my other guy friends have spent this much time and attention on me.I have told my boyfriend about him, but have not told him the extent that we have been talking and hanging out, because I know he would be jealous and would not approve.I do not plan on cheating on my boyfriend. I am smart enough to not put myself in the situation where physical cheating is an option. But all this time I am spending with this other guy feels sort of like cheating. Am I really "just friends" with this guy?Is it possible that he only wants to be friends with me?I have such a great time with him and I don't want to end this new friendship. But is it really just a friendship? Am I emotionally cheating on my boyfriend? And is that wrong if it makes me happy?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): I believe it is definitely cheating if you won't tell your boyfriend about everything, even if you are just friends. When you are devoted to somebody you have to respect their feelings about your friendships. Talk to your boyfriend and tell him everything, and tell him you love him and would never cheat on him, and if he feels that this is cheating then you need to backoff and show your boyfriend thy he is the most important man in your life. Friendships are essential, but significant others need to remain best friends.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): If it feels wrong,then it is wrong. Your'e not lying to him,but you also not telling him the full story.Why?You shouldnt hide anything from each other,especially if it involves the opposite sex.Would you be happy if your BF had such a friendship with another girl and kept it from you?I doubt it.The fact that you even asking this question,tells me you feel its not right.What if your Bf finds out about your 'friendship'.Do you think he is going to smile?I think not.You might not want anything from,but what about him,no guy is such good friends with a girl and wants nothing from them,you dont even know him that long.Im not saying cut him off completely,but distance yourself,before this thing boils over,because its going to.Then the trust is gone.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 hi well no it is not wrong if it is just a friendship you are doing nothing wrong right? but you are already slipping down a dangerous path by lying to your boyfriend about the extent of this friendship in case he gets jelous, this is probably why you are feeling like you are cheating because you are not telling him the full story, your not doing anything wrong here so just be honest with him you are allowed male friends and it is possible this guy just sees you as a friend if he ever over steps the boundries just simply tell him you love your boyfriend and would never cheat on him, goodluck.
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