A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my partner suffers from errectyle dysfuction and for the last 12 months he has not only totally gone of any sexual contact he has also stopped holding or cuddling me and kissing me if i try to get a cuddle or a kiss he pushes me away,he refuses to discuss this with me and when i try it always ends up with him retreating to his flat for a few days. this is causing so many rows now because i cant understand why he rejects me this way, i feel so alone because i cant tell anyone how im feeling and my partner just gets so angry when i try to tell him i miss his affection so much its making me paranoid and so jealous its got to the point that i cant bear him to watch tv with any nudity in it because i feel he preferes to look at thier bodies than mine i am slightly overweigt and i feel he finds me repulsive i just dont no what to do anymore its really hurting me please advise me
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female
reader, WTFdude?  +, writes (17 July 2009):
Dear anonymous..i know this hurts! i'm sorry! if he is claiming erectile disfunction..then try some form of porn..just to see if he can get it up!..if he can then..well first get some..make sure he can go all the way! then u will know for sure if its "ED" or he's been preferring that porn crap over ur warm wet body!
A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (17 July 2009):
He may be shamed about his inability to perform, which is going to make it worse. Not talking about it is not going to make it better. You two need to work on this and it may take some outside assitance. What bothers me most is his "retreat" to his flat...
I suspect that he still loves you, and that none of this is about you, assuming that he's not using you for money, or as a maid or cook.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (17 July 2009):
 Several things may cause erectile dysfunction, including age, health issues, blood pressure medication (beta blockers) or other meds, and psychological issues, but a sudden lack of affection may signal something more. The ED issue can often be aided with sildenafil (Viagra, e.g.), but a lack of attention, and especially that "pushing away" when you seek affection, may deserve deeper investigation on your part.
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