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female
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*ellachic385
writes: My boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. We are very different people. We are great friends and will always support each other. We have different ideas about the future. I am actually considering still being friends with him and maybe more. I don't see this as friends with benefits. We were in love at one point but as time passed it's become clear that we were not made for each other. We are both in college. Is it so wrong if we still see each other if we can handle it? He means so much to me as a person that I don't want to lose him. And sex has always been great between us. Why stop?
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female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (9 July 2011):
this is a personal preference no one can answer this for you if you,s are not with anyone else then you are not hurting anyone by still sleeping together but what happens if you or he meet anyone else i would never have sex with a ex because when they meet someone else you always feel like second best which is not nice
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (9 July 2011):
 Boy, right away when I read this, the very first question that came to my mind was...if you're good enough to sleep with, why aren't you good enough to have a relationship with?
He dumped you 2 weeks ago. You have a relationship for a year and a half. Then he dumps you, yet he's still wanting sex with you.
I think you're in denial about the end of this relationship, because what you're in is EXACTLY Friends with benefits. He wants you as a booty call, yet wants the freedom to date as many girls as he wants to.
The problem is, you can't handle continuing to see each other. The sex is good, but you still have feelings for him, while he still clearly doesn't return the same feelings.
You say you don't want to lose him? You've already lost him. Having sex doesn't mean that you've still got him. All it means is that he's hedging his bets and getting his sexual and nostalgic needs met until someone better comes along.
The sex might be good, but you're really hurting yourself by staying on as his FWB. If it's clear that you're not made for each other, then why waste your time? By staying as FWB, you're not leaving yourself room to get over him and move on. He wanted his freedom. Now you should take advantage of yours as well.
Remember, it is over. He dumped you. This is denial if you think it's any different than FWB. By the way, this also means that the great sex will now be different because of the new lack of connection. Your ego is finding solace in the fact that he wants you for sex so that it doesn't feel the true sting of rejection. However, that just means it'll get worse.
You've got to cut him all the way loose, or you're wasting your time and spinning in neutral. You're in college and working to build your future. Do it in all forms of life and not just academically. Do it in love too, and with him, all you're getting now is used. The long relationship is over. This is not an extension of it.
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