A
female
age
41-50,
*ixieGwen
writes:Is it a possibility for someone to know someone so long/well (know all their flaws/worst sides)that they wouldnt want to date/commit to them?I have 4-5 yrs history w/ this guy who has been unable to commit, pulls me in w/ affection, I love yous etc but then pushes me away when it seems we're getting too close. Avoids me via txt but when we run into each other he seems incredibly happy to see me.We have sexual chemistry thats through the roof.we've always had foreplay and just recently started having sex - seems it made things worse between us.He freaked out big time.He said I love you when drunk(among other greatness) and cpl days later said he didnt want to be my bf (which I found to be random). Ignored me for a cpl months and just txted me today sayin hes tryin to make it work w/ an ex instead of runnin away(movin in w/ her) and wanted to aplogize for ignoring me.I told him I just wanted to be friends and I like consistency, the relationship ship for us sailed long time ago and that currently I enjoyed him as a lover and friend and thats fine w/ me.(He claims he doesnt know why we never a cpl.. - I had asked.) He said thx for telling him and he now has clarity and promises to be consistent.(ive told him all of this before though and he didnt believe me the last time).It seems out of alot of people he knows - im the only one he freaks out about, pushes away and acts weird w/.It's like I make him go crazy.It's frustrating cos I just want normalcy w/ him and I feel if I knew him less, never engaged in anything sexual ESPECIALLY sex that we'd have something semi normal.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2010): You don't have anything at all if what you mean is a relationship.He has used you as a f***k buddy and you just told him that you were OK with that even after he told you that he is trying to make things work with another girl.What is it exactly that you are expecting here? How can he be "consistent" when he doesn't want a relationship with you and he is in one with someone else?The only thing consistent here is how you have wasted 4 to 5 years on an emotionally unavailable man that is just not into you.Time to forget him and move on for God's sake!
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