| A
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Is it possible to not like someone as a person but still be really attracted to them? I ask this as a guy friend of mine, who lets just say has a reputation AND a girlfriend of nearly a year, is to be honest a bit of a sleaze when it comes to women. The thing is when we've been alone before and he's cuddled me or held me close something comes over me and i just get really turned on. I don't know what it is, maybe because we used to have a casual thing before he got with his girlfriend so i know we were good in bed together. I know it's wrong as he has a girlfriend which is why i'm so puzzled at the feelings i have when we're alone, it's almost over powering where i know i should say "no" and in my mind i'm saying no but it's like i can't control it. Afterwards i feel really bad and those feelings dissapear. I try to avoid talking to him etc... he doesn't live in the same town so i won't bump into him or anything and i try to avoid us being alone because i know something will probably happen. Is it just sexual chemistry? It's really hard to describe but it's just a really powerfull urge.
View related questions:
has a girlfriend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Nithyanala  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 Not only possible but very common. You may want to listen to your brain rather than your hormones though.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 It is possible, I dont know if any scientific studies have been done on sleezes to see if they have extra amounts of pheromones or not ... but it is a chemical reaction.
http://scienceray.com/biology/human-biology/pheromones-the-chemistry-of-attraction/
...............................
A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (28 October 2010):
 Absolutely it's possible. The traits that make women sexually attracted to a guy are different from (but not mutually exclusive with) the traits that make her like him as a person. In fact, being a player is usually a pretty good start on the former - it's called "preselection," the phenomenon where women like a guy solely becuase other women like him.
Nice guys generalyl resent those kinds of guys, so you may want to avoid getting with too many of them, or it'll make having meaningfull relationships in the future harder. You're better off leaving this guy and finding someone who you can like *and* be attracted to.
...............................
|
