A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:About a month ago, I met this guy and after chatting non stop for days on end, he asked me out on a date. We went out on a couple more as well. I think it went really well, and he seemed/seems to like me,as he said he thinks im absolutely gorgeous and he kissed and hugged me goodnight each time I saw him. However, the thing is, yesterday he moved to a different town for work!!! He was only even supposed to be living in the city I live in (which we met in) for 8 months for trining for his work, and now hes been transferred to this county town in the middle of no where. Hes supposed to be coming back next week for a visit. I cant wait to see him. But I feel so anxious lately because I dont know where I stand with him and whats going to happen with us. I guess there is the possibility of a long distance r/ship, but woudlnt it be weird to start having a long distance r/ship when we have long just met? I just think it would make it so much harder to get to know each other and there would be all this extra strain on this new r/ship becuase of the distance. Having said that, Id probably give it a go if he said he wanted too. However i dont know how he feels and id feel so weird bringing it up because we arent really a couple offically or anything.On top of all of that, I feel worried with him having moved to this new town because he moved with his work partner who is female and she seems to have a big crush on him from what ive seen!!! She is very flirty with him, always touching him and calling him hun. She messages his phone and his facebook all the time! Which I think is weird considering she sees him at work all day long,then she has to message him non stop out side of work hours? She is always telling him how good looking he is too. Sounds like a crush to me. So they are both moving to this town where they only know each other, and that worries me. I mean why would he wnat to have a long distance r/ship with me when he could have one with her. I just feel so confused and worried and anxious. I am 20 and he is 23. Any advice?
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female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (8 May 2009):
 Yes, you could try a LDR. And I am very heartened by they realistic view you have of it. Many people make the huge mistake of thinking an LDR is equal to a 'real' relationship. Talking on the phone and email and seeing each other once in a blue moon while on vacation is NOT the same thing as spending real, significant amounts of time actually experiencing life together. So you are right to be cautious. But if you guys really like each other and want to give it eyes wide open go at it, I say to go for it!
It will definately be hard and eventually you will have to make a choice. Either it will end or one of you will have to move to be near the other and make a real go at a relationship. So right now, the thing you have to decide is whether either one of you is willing to ever relocate. If you both say I will NOT move, the other one will have to move, then it is a lost cause and dont bother with it. If you can say to yourself, if things work out really well, I am willing to move to be near him, then give it a chance.
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