A
female
age
41-50,
*ternal8eclipse
writes:Please help me! I was in a bad relationship for 3 years and even lived with my ex's family for about a year and in that time I fell for my ex's younger brother. Since my ex was hardly ever around and his brother was, we found out we had more in common and had a strong connection and attraction for each other we couldn't fight off. I know it's wrong, but as time passed I realized I made a big mistake and should've picked the younger brother but it was too late. We ended up sleeping together more times than we should have and we have both admitted we have more than sexual feelings for each other but I really did want to do everything I could to make my relationship work so I stopped completely. Even during Katrina when I thought my family had died we spent weeks together with no food and were homeless for a while once again his younger brother was nicer to me than he was. To put it simply my ex treated me like s@*t and everyone saw it but I felt so guilty about what I had done with his younger brothe I tolerated it and I really wanted to do everything I could to make my relationship work, but it didn't. When me and his brother broke up It took a months to even think of anyone again because I was pretty devastated from the break-up but I couldn't see myself being with my ex again or anyone else, his brother was and has been the only one I can picture myself with. It's been a year since the breakup and even after my mother passing away in May and my graduation my ex still won't speak to me but his brother is still there for me. We've had sex twice since the breakup and it kills me because I want to be with him but I can't. Is it possible to date your ex's brother? Do people actually do that and does that kind of thing actually work out? They're not that close to each other but still they are brothers and I don't know what to do:( I love him, I always have and have even had his mom and dad tell me they would be cool with it (when I joked about it with them) Please any advice?
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female
reader, leanne.od  +, writes (19 September 2007):
 nothing is impossible but sometimes things are complicated. it isn't fair on your ex to date his brother when the world is full of eligable bachelors.
seriously, how would you feel if the table were turned and he wanted to date your sister or cousin or even jsut your friend, you would go balistic and say a whole lot of things. he's going to think you liked his brother the whole time you were dating and that is unfair.
leave well alone and have your dignity still intact.
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (18 September 2007):
 Is it possible? Yes.
Is it going to be more complicated than a relationship that is not related to your ex? Yes.
Is it worth the extra complications? Only you can tell if you are strong enough to handle that.
Just do not picture things like having the whole family over for the holidays with your kids or anything. Are you strong enough for that? Is he?
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): if you and the x-bro can be happy together go for it what have you got to loose as the x dont speak to you anyway,and as for his bro that between them to sort out
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): I have been through the same situation as you so I know you feel really guilty, but the fact of the matter is your ex isn't worth your time anymore and his brother really cares for you. So what's the worst that couild happen?? Go for it!
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