A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was dating my Ex and then he dumped me, like 2 days after Valentine's day. We said we loved each other, we've both said being together just felt right. Ex contacted me after the breakup and we tried hanging out as friends but ended sleeping together a few more times, and I cut it off this time because I couldn't trust him. The whole thing ended in a huge fight. It was a lot of drama. That night I rang up a booty call and the next time I was really drunk I sent Ex a vindictive text telling him I'd hooked up w/someone else and belittling Ex as a person, saying he was out of shape, a loser, an underachiever. When I was sober again I really regretted sending the text but I figured the only thing I could do was just leave him alone so I deleted his number and went into no contact mode. Then about a month later his Friend/coworker asks me out. I was hesitant, but I always thought Friend was a chill guy so I went for it, figuring I was over my ex. No dice. Friend brought up Ex like every five minutes and I realized I wasn't over him at all. Plus I realized I had zero chemistry with Friend, which I admitted as soon as I knew because I didn't want to lead Friend on. Apparently Ex confronted Friend and asked what was going on, said Friend should have told him, and warned that I might be 'trying to get his attention.' I ended up messaging Ex directly to chew him out because I was pretty insulted. I also apologized for my bad behavior because I really did feel terrible.Ex took this opportunity to chew me out a little himself, but he also admitted he'd thought of me a lot in the last few weeks. He said he'd almost contacted me a few times but he changed his mind when he remembered the vindictive text I sent. He also suggested I was a snob and thanked me for 'reminding him why we broke up.'Now I'm pretty much beside myself. I really loved Ex and I tried moving on. But I haven't been able to. I wrote him back a long thing defending myself and acknowledging that I didn't think bad of him; that it had been post-breakup cruelty and not more, that I'd been really hurting. And I said it wasn't okay to act like he'd have wanted a second chance except for some of the things I said. I admitted I still thought about him too sometimes, but even if he wanted a second chance I'm not sure he deserves one.He never responded and I'm not sure what to think. Was he just manipulating me? Is he going to be pounding down my door tonight? I'm probably stupid to even consider going back to him but is it possible that you meet the right person and they're immature and damaged, but they're still the right person? And how can I protect myself if he does try to charm me back into his life?
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booty call, broke up, drunk, immature, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): You both sound pretty immature--at least, prone to seeking instant gratification (emotionally and sexually). Take an honest look at some of your deeper issues first...
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