A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello,Hoping I will be able to get some answers here..I've known a guy for nearly two years on and off (we are both in our 30s). We dated a couple of years ago, however he was going through a trial separation with his wife. During these months I did not sleep with him and did not let the relationship progress physically as I was worried if things didn't work out. However he decided that he should give his marriage another go.Then over a year later we were back in touch, started dating again. This time he's filed for divorce and I have no doubt that this is the case. It's very close to completion. Unfortunately I've become really attached with him emotionally and have had sex with him. Which felt like the right thing to do. I think I've probably become too clingy/over emotional and have been getting worked up if he says he does not want to meet me. So I've accused of him of going off me and that he's no longer interested. He keeps saying that he didn't say that and that's not true.Is it possible that he's become distance due to getting close to the end of his divorce? His marriage was very rocky and they argued all the time. They don't have any children just financial links which have pretty much all be arranged/settled through their lawyers. And still live together, his soon to be ex-wife is looking for a place of her own.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (17 February 2012):
 THEY STILL LIVE TOGETHER.. wow in my state you can’t even begin divorce proceedings till you have lived apart for a year…
I’d not be getting involved with a man who lived with his wife ex or otherwise…
if they are that close to finishing the divorce why has one of them not moved?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your honest opinions, really grateful for them.
I think I needed to be told that, as the thought has crossed my mind about it too.
I'm going to back off and give him space. This second guessing what he's thinking is driving me up the wall. I'm going to keep myself busy.
Many thanks once again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2012): Try not to be clingy and demanding for now. Give him a bit of space. He is in a stressful situation and may be wary of jumping straight from one relationship to the next. So back off and tell him you are fine with taking things easy. You will have to judge in time whether you both have something ongoing together. But hold fire in the short term.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2012): "Is it possible that he's become distance due to getting close to the end of his divorce?"
More likely he's become distant due to getting close to the end of his affair, whether it be extra-marital or post-marital.
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (17 February 2012):
 Not only is he going through some weighty issues right now, but he's also wondering if he should be leaping from one relationship to another. While you have been single for awhile and are ready for the challenge he may not be. And it may just feel like he needs more time to sort out his own head and be alone for a while. I know that will be hard for you, divorces can be emotionally messy even if they go off without a hitch. So be patient and try not to rush him into a fulltime relationship right away.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2012): "Is it possible that he's become distance due to getting close to the end of his divorce? "
no I think he's become distant due to your clinginess and over emotionality and accusations.
His divorce may very well still go through - if he doesn't want her as his wife, then he doesn't want her.
But that says nothing about how he feels toward you. He may be having second thoughts about you too due to your unpleasant behavior towards him.
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