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Is it possible that he can turn his feelings off and never return to me?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 May 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 24 May 2011)
A female United States age 51-59, *alkag writes:

my boyfriend and i had a very strong relationship. it was filled with love and compassion and it was beautiful. we were like best friends. he left not long ago to take care of problems at home and then told me he wasnt coming home. i found out some things that may mean that he is a pathological liar but we were together every day for 2 years and he was wonderful. i have a loving home and family and maybe he has never had that before and it made him a good person. is it possible that he can turn his feelings off for me and never return?

View related questions: best friend, liar

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A male reader, Wheeler United States +, writes (24 May 2011):

Wheeler agony auntMaybe the better question is, was he able to fake his feelings for you when they had already ended? I am sure you don't want to hear that, but I have been through a similar situation, and I spent months trying to answer that very question.br

brThen one day, I just realized, when someone loves you they want to be with you. Otherwise they are just saying words. And so often we believe words because we so desperately hope they are true.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2011):

Is it safe to assume the 'problems at home' was a wife or girlfriend with whom he has reunited?

Emotional attachments generally don't just turn on and off like a light switch. Feelings develop and become stronger over time, and usually diminish the same way.

It probbaly wasn't that he loved you so much as it was that he felt good while he was with you. He took pleasure in the moment and it appears the moment is over.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's a rotten feeling. You're probably grasping at straws for anything that says it wasn't all in vain. It wasn't. You had some good times with him. Cherish those, grieve and move on.

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