A
female
age
41-50,
*emi
writes:I've been having an affair with a married man for the past 7 years. Since this time, he's been seperated from his wife 6 times but, he always takes her back. They were together for 19 years. His wife also having an affair with another man for the past 12 years. She, even had a child with this man. Today, he's seperated again and he swears he's done with his marriage this time. It's getting very serious between us this time around. The problem is he has 4 teenage kids with her and it's clear to me the kids will not accept me in their life! He takes me around his family and friends and he's very close with my 7 yr. daughter. He told me I was his true soulmate and I feel the same way. But, because of his past decisions to go back to her. I'm afraid to trust him, completely. He's very close to his children and I don't want to come between their relationships. Is it possible he's done with his wife this time? Will his kids ever like me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, remi +, writes (4 April 2008):
remi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'd like to thank everyone that took the time to give me genuine advice. Your answers have given me alot to think about. I agree, with all of your answers and I'm grateful for your concerns. Cindy303, your absolutely right,this is a very painful ordeal and my heart is full of sorrow. I wish I never met him but, it's much too late for that. LonelyTwo, I think your right. His kids may never like me. I can only imagine what their mom has told them about me. I do support him as best as I can, under the circumstances.
Oldersister, you've also given me alot to think about. I'm not sure about my relationship but, I'm certain about my daughter feeling very loved, happy, & secure:) She's my sunshine! Your right, sadly, his girls don't feel the same. They seem to be closer to him than mom, cause they stay with him 4 to 5 days a week, consistantly. He seems to be an attentive father but, he's expressed concerns about his girls as far as boys, school, etc. Well, I will keep in touch and thanks again for your help. I hope I can find a resolution soon. Remi
A
female
reader, remi +, writes (4 April 2008):
remi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'd like to thank everyone that took the time to give me genuine advice. Your answers have given me alot to think about. I agree, with all of your answers and I'm grateful for your concerns. Cindy303, your absolutely right,this is a very painful ordeal and my heart is full of sorrow. I wish I never met him but, it's much too late for that. LonelyTwo, I think your right. His kids may never like me. I can only imagine what their mom has told them about me. I do support him as best as I can, under the circumstances.
Oldersister, you've also given me alot to think about. I'm not sure about my relationship but, I'm certain about my daughter feeling very loved, happy, & secure:) She's my sunshine! Your right, sadly, his girls don't feel the same. They seem to be closer to him than mom, cause they stay with him 4 to 5 days a week, consistantly. He seems to be an attentive father but, he's expressed concerns about his girls as far as boys, school, etc. Well, I will keep in touch and thanks again for your help. I hope I can find a resolution soon. Remi
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A
female
reader, Cindy303 +, writes (4 April 2008):
 Life is never a promise. Nothing is a sure thing. You have spent the last seven years of your life being in love with a man who cant seem to make his mind up about what he wants. He and his wife have both been a part of the deciet and lies. If he cheated on her with you all these years, do you think he will change now that he has you to himself and not cheat ever again? Your story is so full of pain and sorrow. I know this all too well myself. The children may never accept you. That is something you will need to come to terms with. How many times before when he and his wife split up did he say it was for good this time? Have you put your life on hold all these years waiting for a promise that may never come?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008): Kids may never except ou as a relaplacement, they will probably always see you as the seperator between their parents. They usually will never accept authority and will not listen to a step mom or dad. You have many hurdles with the kids alone.
For him finally being done with her is anyones guess. Knowing what is going on in his head will help, the hurdles he feels he has ahead of him with these relationships. No doubt he is looking and wondering whether he will be able to balance everything, and this could cause him not to take a permanent position and action. Communication is very important. Participating where you can for him is also important, this may show he has support and help if he needs it.
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