A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and for the past 2 things were very rocky. He was never physically abusive but he was verbally. He would belittle me in any way possible and it was as if he never saw anything wrong with the way he was acting. Well about 6 months ago I left him, didn't tell him where I was going because I had finally had enough. I moved back home but did keep in contact with his mother because she had always treated me like a daughter. She was there for me if I ever needed anything and is just an amazing woman. After about 2 months we started talking again. He wasn't quite as mean and over time it seemed as if he was finally understanding what he was doing to me. Well I eventually moved back with him and at times he seemed very distant. I would really notice at times when he was usually bashing me, he would just get quiet and "weird" Well for one reason or another I thought he was seeing someone else so I went to his mother and she told me he was actually going to get help for his problems. She started talking about the angermanagment and many different programs he was in. My question is why would he have not told me? He can still be mean to me at times but it does look like he is honesty trying to learn ways to cope with it. Is it possible for him to change? I have never been to any type of help like this but does it work? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (6 September 2007):
 He was probably embarrassed. Only time will tell if the treatment is effective. Be supportive for now, and let him have his space to improve on these problems without probing or making him feel like he's under a microscope. Good luck.
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