A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband is an american soldier and I am an arabic women who he married and brought back from iraq. We have been married two years but have only lived together for 8 months before he was redeployed. I recently found out that he fell back in love and has been having an on line emotional affiar with his ex-girlfriend whom he was distanced from 14 years ago on good terms. They are still in love. Now he is back home and I can't let him out of my sight. I know he's constantly thinking about her but I also know that he will not leave me. I am much younger than him.My question is.... how can he be so much in love with another women if he claims he loves me. He talks to her in a different way than he talks to me. I can tell that I am annoying to him but I still can't stop clinging to him every where he goes. I've read some of their letters and they plan on staying in touch and seeing each other whenever possible.What should I do? Is it possible for a man to love two women equally? I can tell he's always trying to find a way to use the computer and the phone alone. I know my husband loves me but I think he's "In Love" with someone else.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2009): What's happening at home? Is he happy to come home or scared to come home? Being with someone from another culture/country is difficult. You are not familiar with America & probably tend to "cling" to him in return. That alone can be very overwhelming for anyone. Meet friends, get a job, take a cooking class, go for a bicycle ride, etc. Be more independent of him, thus removing some of the pressures from him feeling like he is your entire world.
He is running to something familiar, an ex-love. If you're not concerned about this, YOU SHOULD BE! He cannot be "in love" with both of you. I do not know what the age difference is between your husband & yourself, but it seems that the pressure of living with you full-time & being your "everything" is making scaring him.
My advice to you, if you want this to work, is start being more independent, like American women & hang on loosely to your man, but do not let go. Advise him that you are not comfortable with his relationship with this "past love" and if it does not stop you want a divorce. No American girl would put up with that type of behavior from their husband! Now go get your man!
A
male
reader, the_phoenic  +, writes (14 October 2009):
a man can love two women at the same time..but isntead of bothering him with your jealousy try to make him come to you..try to find what he prefers in bed and fullfill his sexual and emotional needs he well be back to you and might forget the other one alsoremember if you bothered him with your jealousy (( thought it is faily justified)) he well stray and lean more on his ex and get more close to herall the best and good luck
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