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Is it possible for a cheater to end up happy with the person he cheated with?

Tagged as: Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 August 2012) 12 Answers - (Newest, 22 August 2012)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend of six years cheated, and left me for the woman he cheated with. Although I'm past the hurt, sometime I wonder is it possible for a cheater to be happy with the person he cheated with.I wish him and her the best and hope he is a better man to her than he was to me.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2012):

It is so rare that it isn't worth talking about.

Most cheaters, who leave for the person they cheated with, never trust the other person.

I don't know the exact percentage off the top of my head any more, but it is like around 95% of all these relationships fail in the long term.

People often will say "they seem so happy" or "we are so happy together" but it is often just window dressing the disturbed relationship underneath.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2012):

As someone who has been on the opposite end of this situation, I commend you for getting past the hurt and wishing him happiness. In the end, harboring hate is only a burden you place on yourself. I fell in love with a married man while I was married. I left my marriage for him and he left his wife for me. I do not believe in the saying of once a cheat, always a cheat. I will never cheat again because of the hurt I caused others. I can't say that I never worry about him though. That is the risk I take being in this relationship. However, I feel he is worth that risk. A lot of people are out there just hoping one of us cheats on the other, you know the old karma thing. It makes us try all the harder to prove them wrong. I am sorry for the pain you have been through but there must have been something wrong in the relationship to begin with. I wish you the best and I am sure the right one is out there for you.

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A male reader, Serpico United States +, writes (21 August 2012):

I was cheated on once by a gf. It was a LD relationship, so I should have seen it coming. In any event, they ended up getting married. He was also cheating on a gf. I have no idea how they are doing now, but my last thought about her was that they deserved each other.....

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A female reader, oldbag United Kingdom +, writes (21 August 2012):

oldbag agony auntHi

Anythings possible, if they are happy together then they were made for each other, a cheater and some girl who slept with somebody elses man,yuk!

I think once the anger and shock has gone you can see why they left,the true relationship you had and the cracks you were blind to.

Its definately good for you to move on and forgive,be the better person.All they have is a life of suspicion ahead

Its never justifiable, to cheat on somebody who loves you, why dont they just walk away if unhappy, without having to lie and deceive somebody they are intimate with, who shares their life ? It beats staying and cheating

Only gutless cowards cheat,often frequently, in the hope of finding somebody gullible to go to ~ before they leave you.

Onwards and upwards, don't even waste time wondering.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2012):

Possible? Sure anything is possible. Is is likely? At first, sure, but after a while, probably not. Cheaters come up with all kinds of justifications for their actions but even when they get caught they play the blame game...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2012):

I think it is possible. I don't believe the saying "once a cheater always a cheater" people can make mistake and life, recognize that mistake and never do it again.

Good for you you moved on.

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A female reader, katiekate United States +, writes (21 August 2012):

katiekate agony auntYes, it's possible. But he'll probably leave her for someone else eventually. You are a kinder person than me if you actually wish them well! I'd want to slash some tires or something crazy like that! haha

It sounds like you've gotten over him leaving you, so don't worry your head about whether they will be happy or not. Who cares? Worry about you!

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A male reader, SensitiveBloke United Kingdom +, writes (20 August 2012):

SensitiveBloke agony auntYes it's possible.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2012):

I suppose its possible. But also keep in mind he has proven he's capable of cheating, so he may well cheat on her too as he did on you.

Its good that you don't feel bitterness towards them, as that just prevents you from moving on from it.

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A male reader, doublejack United States +, writes (20 August 2012):

It is possible, yes. However, as sammi star mentioned it will probably be something that his new girlfriend thinks about. The odds are pretty high that he will eventually cheat on her, too, unfortunately.

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A female reader, sammi star United Kingdom +, writes (20 August 2012):

sammi star agony auntShe will always be wondering in the back of her mind if he's going to do the same to her. She knows better than anyone that he's capable of it. Good for you moving on and not holding onto anger and resentment.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (20 August 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntyes I've seen it happen including a couple of long term marriages.

so yes it's possible.

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