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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year, in the beginning it was great. He was so sweet and would always find something nice to do for me and shower me with affection. However, on our one year he decided to hang out w/ his friends and asked me to go along. He says his friend in town, whom only live 30 min away, is really important and he can see me every day although he asked me to come along. One big problem is that he likes to drink excessively, and this was even before we met. Now we rarely have sex and I do not know what to do. We live together and have marriage plans, kid plans, etc. His family loves me and my family loves him and I love him so much. Our good times are so awesome and special but he doesn't do anything nice anymore. It's like he really doesn't think of me. We have had talk after talk about all this and he tells me that I am telling him what to do and I want him to do it; however, these things are really important to me. However, it seems like I am the only one trying to talk. I will go into his room and he will say nothing and continue to play his game. Is it over, am I in the wrong? I am so confused. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2006): You are describing a very common relationship problem... he's taking you for granted. I don't mean he's a bad person, or he's doing it maliciously, but sometimes we can become "too" comfortable with the one we love - we forget to show that we appreciate them, and love them.
You have done the right thing by trying to talk to him. If he doesn't acknowledge the problem, then things arn't going to change. More often, it's when relationships break down like this that we go on to learn something, and in the next relationship we (hopefully) don't make the same mistakes.
The ideal situation though is for your boyfriend to acknowledge the problem and work towards fixing it. This really does need to be addressed because him not showing you the attention you need will eventually affect you and you might end up seeking what you've lost from someone else.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do, I hope things work out for you.
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