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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi there,My girlfriend is going on holiday in a week or so with her best friend, to a lively place for 2 weeks. It was booked before we started seeing each other, and we've been on our own holiday together a few weeks ago. She's never given me any reason to be jealous or wary but I still cant help it. Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this? How to treat her before she goes? Or how to act when she returns, how to find out what really happened, if anything?Thanks
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2006): This is going to be a huge test for you,and i dont think you will ever know the truth unless you trust your G/F with what she tells you.Odviously i dont know your G/F but from what you said "She's never given me any reason to be jealous or wary" then basically take comfort from that and remember its only 2 weeks might seem a longtime but remember its not very long in reality as the time you could have together when she comes back.
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (5 July 2006):
 What Dr Pete said... "Don't get paranoid".
Be careful. You are at the top of a slippery slope. Paranoia can feed on itself over time and leave you reading her email and text messages when she's not looking, freaking out over any male friends she has, and hallucinating her having sex with hunky men whilst you two are apart. I've been there. It's a very dark pit to have to pull yourself out of. You really really don't want to end up there. Do anything you can to avoid falling in.
Trust is key. Trust her completely. She is your girlfriend, she loves you. Tell her you hope she has a great time, and then send her lots of text messages while she is away saying how much you miss her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2006): You'll never know what "really" happened (unless she gets pregnant or catches some sexual transmitted disease) - you just have to trust her.
Failing that, you could get a flight out and rent a place nearby, then you could spy on her.
Seriously though - you said you have no reason to be wary, so go with that guy feeling. Hopefully she'll give you a few calls over the holiday just to let you know she's missing you. Good luck - and don't get paranoid for no reason, you don't want to ruin an otherwise great relationship just because of your paranoia. Show her you trust her, she will really respect you for it.
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A
female
reader, dancing_boo  +, writes (5 July 2006):
 Hi there...By what you have writen i believe that you have no reason to worry about her next vacation. Try and put yourself in her shoes, and turn the tables around, and think about how she would feel if you went on vacation with a male friend. From this reflection, judge how you would like to be treated. I would say, treat her like you have done, be kind, loving, caring and offer to help with anything she needs doing before she goes away, show her that you really do care, regardless of what you may be feeling. The more love and effection you show her before she goes, the more likely she is to miss you! Let her leave on a good note remembering how lovely you are, to return on an even better one. I think you are nervous about the fact its another female friend, just remember that not all woman are like some men, nor think like them. If she has strong feelings towards you, then she will be thinking about you while shes away and hopefully be loyal to her feelings towards you, probably wishing she was on holiday with you i would imagine. Handle with extreme care, dont let your insecurities influence your approach or the way you treat her, she is untitled to go away without you, you just have to look at this as a way to strengthen your trust, and time to realise how much she means to you.Maybe text her mobile while shes away, therefore when she returns, she will have a loving text to return to, leaving her wanting you more...to make the return even more hyped up and special.
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