| A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Me and my ex have been together, on and off for over two years, but the last eight months we were solid, truly in love and best friends. This was both our first proper relationship. We both became unhappy that I might be moving soon and may have to break up and also in time, we have sort of become bored of the routine of seeing each, we lost the spark, but she cared about me too much to break up with me. We tried to make things more exciting, but she decided to break up with me, saying she wants to see other people to see how 'special' our relationship was and because she wants a change. She says she cannot say that we are meant to be together (as I believe) because she won't be fully committed to another relationship and doesn't want to get my hopes up. We are both relatively unhappy apart and I can't cope with being friends (which she wants - she said she misses me as a friend), neither of us are eating. She is starting to see another guy, not oficially, but I think it's only a matter of time. She says he understands her as well as I do, but they are really different (her and I are very similar). She says we were the best couple, and I want to know if it's over forever. What do you think? We never had to change for one another to like us - we loved each other for exactly who we are, but we both think we maybe became too dependent on one another, and were almost too good together. Should I wait for her to realise we are meant to be? Will she realise this? Should I persuade her that we can get the spark back? Does she need time/space? I can't bear to think of her with someone else but I truly believe she wouldn't be as happy as in our relationship, so would come back to - her friends agree and she's suggested this to me as well. Would this make our future relationship stronger?
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best friend, my ex, spark Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): I know that it seems like the end of the world, but you are both young and still learning who you are. You can take the approach in the other response, but its really not a good idea. You simply need to move on. Be happy that you had what you had. You will have it again. But for now, you just need to let time heal your wounds.
A
female
reader, Megan Deetes  +, writes (7 December 2007):
 It sounds as though you need to take her out and sweep her off her feet :) remind her of all the good times and show her this new guy isn't worth a second chance- you two are meant to be- you just need to get that spark back i found a website about spicing things up in the bedroom but this may not be the case for you:
http://hubpages.com/hub/secrets_that_will_spice_up_your_love_life
Let her have her space but send her flowers, cards and litte notes etc to keep this new guy looking worse off than you ;) If you need more help you can message me, Good Luck xxxxxxxxxxxx
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