A
female
age
36-40,
*SMERALDA4
writes:Heres a question. Is it fine to show a 'friend with benefits' affection outside the bedroom? Like holding hands, giving long hugs, saying I miss you etc or is it gonna freak him out thinking I'im asking for more? He gets uncomfortable talking about 'love' and doesn't talk much about his emotions. I love him but am not 'in love' with him. I told him that ages ago. As for him, I know he likes me too but don't know of any further feelings than that.. But I feel we are good friends.So what should I do? What would go through his head if I started being a little mushier now? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, LampHead  +, writes (25 February 2009):
 I have a friend that is a girl that I'm really close friends with. When I get girlfriends, I have to tell them not to get jealous of her, as I would never go out with her. But, like you, I'm close enough to tell her I'm going to miss her when I go on holiday etc, and give her hugs, and cuddle and stuff, but nothing further. I would never kiss her, or anything else. We both know nothing will happen, and she has a long term boyfriend, and I am in and out of love constantly with the girl of my dreams, haha.
So, Yeah, I think its fine to show affection. Cuddles, hugs and sweet words cant hurt anyone.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2009): Why didn't you ask your other question in the same thread?
Is it fine showing affection towards your FWB outside the bedroom? This depends on the people involved and how close they are with each other.
Think: if you ask for more, it will start leading to something beyond the 'traditional' idea of just being FWB's.
Advice: if you aren't afraid to risk losing what you have now, I say go for it and see where this 'friendship' can take you. If you are afraid of losing this bed buddy, then don't do anything. This is the same as if one 'best' friend is in love with the other - do you want to risk the friendship for further closeness or stay as is forever?
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