A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing this guy for a couple of months, we kiss and that's about all, I want to take thinks slow, he has suggested I stay at his (I think he wants sex) and we can have a nice bath/shower together. Do you think its a good idea to have a bath/shower with someone if you haven't slept together, I mean we will probably turn each other on. I feel bad as it is because I can always feel that he is turned on and it must be frustrating for him, should I maybe help relieve him, any help welcome. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (10 March 2009):
 I guess it's often the case that the guy wants sex before the girl, and will try to nudge things in that direction...
Having a bath or shower is clearly part of that, and could be his way of making your first time together special and intimate. ie to get you in the mood first.
If you do have this shower together and you have sex, would that be so bad? Or are you warming to the idea at some point soon and it would just bring it forward a little?
I would say that bath/shower = sex together afterwards.
Or is it that this would be your first time ever for sex?
Try getting used to doing everything but first, before you get this shower/bath together.
Fiona.
A
female
reader, don't take his shit 1 +, writes (10 March 2009):
Hi there,
ok from what I can gather; you want to take it slow,and he wants to move forward. This is the way of boys and girls;always the same.
Remain true to your want,ie.you want to take it slow.So DON'T go for the bath/shower thing.
Girls are so much more easily drawn into the sensuality of bodily contact.It's an easy way for him to get you 'in the mood' Please,only go forward if you you really feel you are in control of your sexuality _ if you feel that sexual urge (you know what I mean)then go for it.If not .Forget it.He is pushing his luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009): I'd be okay with showering with a girl without sleeping with her if she made that clear ahead of time. Some guys might not be, but I could handle that without making some huge grumpy scene about it.
But it's probably too far into tease territory if you show all signs of a sexual encounter and then start shutting down his advances when you're already both naked or something. If he's not getting any then let him know when everyone's clothes are still on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009): You can do whatever you feel you want to. If you don't want to have sexual intercourse yet, but want to relieve him, then use an alternative to pleasure him. There is no right or wrong way on going about this. Some people may have bad experiences but others also do not. What is "okay" for Sheryl and Ranka, may not necessarily be "okay" for Minmay and Kusanagi.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009): From a man's point of view, it's a very good idea - especially if he's on a water meter!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009): Sure it's ok. But chances are you will end up having sex and I am sure thats what he is looking for. No one just suggests a shower together and nothing more. Are you against doing other things for him to 'help' him? Oral sex, hand job, etc? If you are still against sex then I would be up front with him before attempting to bathe together and tell him that it will not result in sex. But you are willing to ____.
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