| A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes: Do I have the right not to have contact with my mother, if I feel she is very damaging for me? I had been thru a lot at the last few years, with my kids and marriage, and she can't stop blaming me for everything , what has gone wrong. So now, it was the first Christmas I could not call her,because I was in a very bad mood, and I don\t want to hear her negative opinion on me. She has no understanding or compassion for me. Am I right if I want to stop contact with her? I want her out of my life.. I feel bad, but I'm thinking about this long time ago ,and now I really want to make my choice.. Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009): Why is she so bad? What went wrong in your life? Is there any way you could go to counseling together? It is so sad,that you could not help it so far! I wish you luck!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2009): Mother is mother!! How would you feel ,if your daughter wouldn't want to talk to you/?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2009): I think ,just because she is your mother, you dont have to suffer. I think you need to be asking yourself..Why am I doing this? Because the law says.... Be honest with yourself,and let her go.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (27 December 2009):
 Personally, I am not much for forgiveness and all that crap.
Sometimes I see families so fucked up that you wonder just why these people continue to contact each other.
If the relationship is that bad, then yes, I think it is ok to break the connection. People who say otherwise often protest because, I feel, they don't want to admit their own true feelings on the subject.
Sometimes you need to make a break to be able to move on with your life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2009): You haven't really given enough information about what has been the pattern or history with your mother.
I think if all she is doing is criticizing you about your part in your problems, then she may just be trying to help you. Perhaps she could even be right about some things and as hard as it is to hear you might want to at least consider her opinion.
If on the other hand she has shown lack of care and concern for you and has given you lots of rejection, not wanting to see you and the like and being abusive verbally, then I would say yes you are justified in cutting her out of your life.
Somehow I don't get that this is the case here or you would have been more torn up about it and given more details and more history as to what is making you feel like cutting her off.
It seems more to me that you can't stand being told you are wrong or have made some mistakes by someone who knows you very well. Time to take an inventory of your own "stuff".
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