A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, a quick couple of questions. I went on an date set up from an online site last night. I have been on 2 dates over the last few months and had sworn off it as I didn’t enjoy the process but she contacted me and I thought well why not, let’s give it a shot.I actually think it went quite well. In my eyes it was a practical sort of attraction. Not the stereotypical ‘wow’ but that nice realization that you are sat opposite someone who seems nice, intelligent, communicative and interesting which I think is the best reaction to have to someone. So at the end of the date I asked if she would like to meet again. I will admit that the end was the only awkward part of the date. I don’t do this often and am not sure on te ‘etiquette’ so immediately was concerned that I had put her on the spot. I didn’t know how to end it so just blurted it out. But she responded suggesting we go on a wal somewhere which I thought was a lovely idea. A little awkward kiss on the cheek and we went our separate ways.I thanked her for her company later on and said I enjoyed the night. She replied in a very short text wasting she did too but which left me wondering if she is not actually sure yet. Now I have no issue if she is not actually interested but for the sake of my ‘future dating life’ I wanted to ask if it is prudent to walk away from the first date without asking for a second so as not to put the other person in an awkward position? Or is it ok if you think things are going well to simply say so?—-Secondly, I have unfortunately had a chronic health condition for some time now and I am not sure if and when it will ever go. When starting a new relationship how soon do I bring it up? It is nothing that would directly effect the other person but it’s something that has an impact on my life 24/7 and at times can be close to debilitating. Obviously they need to know but it is important to let someone know immediately before things progress or is it ok to let them know a handful of dates down the line once they get to know you better?I haven’t ever really dated before but have had 2 long term girlfriends in my life that just sort of happened so I am new to how this all works.Thanks for your time!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2018): Normally if you are interested in seeing a date again you ask them. say something like when can I see you again or, when will I see you again, if she is not interested she will find an excuse to turn you down gently. I have been turned down many times before. You will not be putting her on a spot at all. Actually you will put her on a spot if you don't ask to see her again. As for the illness you should tell her immediately. Any delay will be hiding the facts from her. So don't lead her on, tell her immedeately your illness and let her decide if she wants to continue.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (31 December 2018):
 I would ask her for a second date asap. And then plan the walk that you two talked about.
She already said yes, so why not? If she decides she doesn't want to after all, YOU can move on. And so can she.
As for chronic illnesses. That is a hard one. For one, most people wouldn't go, oh then I want nothing to do with you. I think waiting a few more dates is OK - unless the RIGHT opportunity pops up sooner.
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