A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am in a rather unconventional situation.I am at a comparatively young age [look upwards], and recently I have become kind of physical with a man who is around 50. Nothing sexual really, I have known him for a bit over a year, and a month ago I kissed him on the cheek. He hugs me closely, rubs my waist and legs, and has given me short kisses on the neck, but no more than that. I would have no problem with him doing this, and I don't have issues about him touching me, but the thing is that he is married. He even said that he technically wasn't supposed to be feeling the way he is.So I guess my question is, is it ok for me to be getting non-sexual affection from him if I WANT it?Thank you. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, tux +, writes (7 December 2008):
 If you want affection, I'm single and free to give any attention you want.. ;)
But seriously, You need to step back a little. It's not necessarily wrong, but you need to realize that this "innocent" touching will lead to more "non-innocent" touching.. it is just a matter of time, like everyone else has mentioned. This is not about non-sexual affection because the affection you describe is merely pre-sexual affection. I think once you start getting kisses on the neck and rubbing of waists and legs it becomes pre-sexual and will be only a matter of time that this rubbing will be your pants rubbing your legs while they are being moved down towards your feet. He's married, move on.. Find someone else to give and get your affection from. Whether he is 85 or 18... You deserve a guy's full-affection-attention. You are only get half from this guy.
A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (7 December 2008):
 Yes it is Ok so long as you are comfortable with it. Find the right moment to set some clear boundaries - "I really enjoy this close relationship that we have but please understand that I would be very uncomfortable if you thought it would ever go further." Watch very carefully for his reaction.
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A
female
reader, paigedylan +, writes (6 December 2008):
 Listen to the aunts here, sweetie.. It starts as non-sexual and you may mistake it for pure affection, but if you don't resist his moves, he'll interpret it as meaning you like what he's doing.
This guy is seducing you.. better run away fast or you'll regret it later on.
take care!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2008): His confession is Telling you he feels sexually toward you. It all starts out innocent, but then he'll start rubbing your back, sides, and when your feeling good, his hands will find all kinds of areas...this needs to Stop asap or you will regret it the rest of your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2008): not really he wants his cake and eat it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2008): I don't think this is where it will end. I think that if this affection and touching continues then he will eventually want and try to get more from you.
I know you like the affection, but don't you think it would be better to recieve such affection from someone who likes you around your own age and who isn't married?
This way you will not have to ask the moral question "Is it right?"... You can just relax and have fun... The way ot should be when you are involved with anyone.
If his wife found out about this I'm sure she would feel very hurt and uncomfortable. Try thinking about it from her point of view... If you were married, would you feel comfortable with your husband kissing and rubbing a another girl, never mind one 30 years his junior?
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