A
female
age
30-35,
*oconfusedhelp
writes:okay, im a 16 year old girl. im really pretty and im a nice person. i have a great additude and im really funny. i have alot of friends, and maybe a handfull of guy friends(that i couldnt see myself being in a relationship with) and i just want to lose my virginity!!! i cant find a guy that i want to be in a relationship with, so im not really focused on that. i just want to meet an std-free, good looking nice guy, preferably 16-19, that will take my virgintiy! is this normal to want this??? i dont want to lose it because everyone else is having sex, i just want to get it over with!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2010): It's not abnormal - but you really should wait for that special someone.
I noticed on your last post you said something about pain, blood and tears...and it makes me wonder what you've actually heard about losing your virginity? I guess the pain level can be different for everyone but it doesn't mean that you will have LOTS of pain or even any blood at all.
Saving yourself for someone special is the way to go - you'll be happier with that. Sex isn't something you should just get over with. It's a big deal and you won't feel "mentally awful", as you put it, if you share your virginity with someone you love and care about.
Theres nothing wrong with being a virgin and there's nothing wrong with feeling the desire to have sex. I just think you'd be happier if you waited. You're still young & there is plenty of time!
A
male
reader, uncledarren  +, writes (22 October 2010):
 when i was your age i to cudnt wait to lose my virginty but i surggest that you really don't rush into this. whating to get it over with is a bad idea in my opinion because your first time is special. it will always hold a certain something to you however ask yourself this question, "if i have sex with a stranger or a friend just for the sake of doing it will i be happy with it or will i regret it"i reckon that you will proberly regret it. the first time is pretty or amazing infact it can be akward and unpleasant. which means that to get a good memory for it atleast let it happen naturally with someone special because tht person is out there and if the feels are right between you both you will be ok with the rough first time and in turn will give you more confidence because you will know that he is not with you for sex he is with you for you which relieves alot of pressure of you when it comes to sex.hope this helps you and good luck
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A
female
reader, loulou95 +, writes (22 October 2010):
i think its normal i think anout that all the time because everyone is doing but just wait till u find somone you wont regret doing it with :)
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A
female
reader, soconfusedhelp +, writes (22 October 2010):
soconfusedhelp is verified as being by the original poster of the question painting54: i wasnt planning on losing it to one of my guy friends because of that reason. im not sexually attracted to them and even though im sure theyd have sex with me, i know it would change something. maybe not between me and him, but between me and my other guy friends if they found out about it.
shugarr: i know mentally im not going to feel awful when i lose it. actually, ill probab;y feel relieved when the pain goes away. i kinda think of this whole situation the same as "ripping off the bandaid," yeah its gonna hurt but just do it fast and get it over with. i dont want to wait for someone special because of the whole process. like the blood and the pain and the tears. i wouldnt want someone special to me seeing me like that. id rather get it over with now, so when i meet someone special, we wont have to go through all that.
do you know what i mean?
and i plan on going to college and i like to party and have fun and id rather not get drunk one night and hook up with someone and it happen like that.
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A
female
reader, painting54 +, writes (22 October 2010):
I was in your same situation. Whatever you do DO NOT have sex with any of your guy friends. While you're having tons of fun you don't realize how it affects your friendship, and trust me it does. I lost my virginity to my best guy friend and things just aren't the same now... i learned the hard way why friends have boundaries.
And 60% of teenagers say they wish they would have waited- just putting that out there.
But I think it is normal for a lot of girls to want to lose their virginity.
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A
female
reader, Shugarr  +, writes (22 October 2010):
it is not normal to want to lose your virginity but that feeling comes sometimes...
Dont you know that what you have is a treasure and you are gonna feel awful when you lose it especially when you lose it to someone random?
I would advice against losing it on a whim because you are gonna regret that for the rest of your life..
Dont do it dear..wait for that special moment with candles and flowers, and a guy who would tell you that he loves you repeatedly, during the process, or just some scene that would really be memorable..
and you would never regret..
In essence, KEEP IT!!
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