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anonymous
writes:Hoping some of the great people on here can help. It has been a tough summer. I lost two friends, one to lou gherigs disease and one to breast cancer. My mom is deteriorating as well. I thought I was doing ok with it but it seems that I am now thinking over every loss I have had...lost romances, friends who have drifted away. I have got some counselling which is helped. I am currently single so I guess that might make a difference as well.I guess the truth is that many of the people I have loved...I have lost. Is thinking back over past losses normal when you are grieving current ones? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo Ginalolabridga, Old Guy and Tisha-1: Thank you for your insight and good advice. I have already checked into the als website for Canada for volunteer work and just thank you all for good advice.
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reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (18 August 2009):
 One more thing, have a medical check up just to rule out anything else going on. You may have a little case of depression, you might be anemic, maybe you're going through menopause or perimenopause, your blood chemistry might be out of whack.
Can't hurt and might help.
(great link, Old Guy!)
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): Oh my, you're having a tough time right now. I send you a hug. I quite agree with the others -- I've found grieving a time for dwelling on the past, too. It does get better -- be patient with yourself.
Tisha had a great suggestion. I'm aware of Betty's Walk for ALS here, and checked to see if they do it elsewhere in Canada:
http://www.als.ca/events/
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): I am very sorry for you. Wear it on the chin! Get out there now and get a life!
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reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 August 2009):
You're completely normal, alas. The feelings of loss you're experiencing call up the memories of previous losses--it can lead to feeling really melancholy. I understand a little of what you're going through, you've got so much to grieve, so maybe you wouldn't mind a couple of suggestions from me?
The risk of too much of this type of thinking is that you get stuck in a depressive type state. So just try to balance your thought processes to include some positive actions and thoughts. Embrace your grief, don't try to ignore it. Maybe you can come up with a positive thing to do in memory of your lost friends? Something in their memory? There are foundations for raising awareness and fundraising for research for both the diseases you mentioned. Find out what you can do to support them. Maybe do some fundraising? A walk? Donate time or goods?
Then when you think of that friend, you also think of the positive energy you are putting out there to counterbalance that loss.
Forgive yourself for anything you left 'undone'. You can only do what you can do, if you understand me.
Make sure you are eating well, try to avoid alcohol when you're in that deep funk, get some sunlight on your face and some blood pumping through those muscles of yours. Find somebody you can tell about all these sad feelings--maybe your mom isn't the best choice, but a close girlfriend? I found that if I asked, people were more than willing to listen and in fact wanted to help. Let them. And getting counseling is a great thing you did for yourself.
I'm sorry for all the sad events you have to experience. Hugs. You can get through this.
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