A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in a LDR for over 2 years, we see each other every 4 months and when we are apart, we are constantly on Skype (we probably talk an avarage of 4 hours a day on week days and probably the double of that on weekends). We miss each other like crazy when we are apart, but when we are a together it feels to me like I need some time to get used to him again, learn him again and feel comfortable again. Sometimes the awkwardness can last for a couple of days, sometimes an entire week. I never said anything about it to him, but it feels that nothing really changes for him, it really seems that for him everything remains the same as before he left. Is it just me? or is it normal for everybody? Or is it a female thing? Or have my feelings changed and I just don't want to see it? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): kirra07 and Nime,
that is exactly what I feel. I think what makes me uncomfortable about this feeling is that if depended on him, I think he could just take my clothes off at baggage area right at the airport when I pick him up!
It's been 2 days now and it's getting better.
I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels that way!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): I meant sexually, physically. It is just strange to go from not being touched at all for months to all sudden you are having full on steamy sex. It's kind of I need a warm up time, to go kind of slow but the last time I tried to remotely say something about it he took it as I wasn't attracted to him anymore, which is not true. I just need to pick up the pace, I guess...
Everything else is great.
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A
female
reader, Nime +, writes (16 February 2011):
 I am in EXACTLY the same situation as you; it could have been me who wrote it. We were together in the same college but went to different grad schools so have been LDR for almost two years. We leave Skype on all the time to talk to each other and see each other for a few days to a couple of weeks about once every 2-3 months. Every time I see him again for the first time he looks weird to me, I feel awkward and uncomfortable with kissing right away because we're like 'strangers'. The feeling goes away after a couple of days to a week. I think it's pretty normal in a LDR; my brother is also in a LDR (same situation as me) and says he feels weird the first time he sees his girlfriend too, like she's a stranger. My boyfriend says he occasionally feels weird too, and my brother's girlfriend says she never feels weird. So anyway I think it depends on the person and is normal; you have nothing to worry about.
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A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (16 February 2011):
I have no idea if it's 'normal' or not, but if it makes you feel better, I feel the same way. When my boyfriend goes away for a bit, we talk on the phone or skype and it seems normal, but when he gets back, I feel a little weird. A little unsure about everything and a little awkward around him. It lasts a little bit, but then everything goes back to normal. I've tried to figure out what it is, but the best I can come up with is that when he's back, the transition is too quick for me, and I need time to get used to it.
If it isn't causing you and him problems, then I wouldn't worry too much about it. You might wonder and try to figure out what exactly is causing it, but don't stress out too much about it.
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