A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it normal I've never feel any sort of spark when meeting someone or when in a relationship?I haven't had many serious relationships at all, recently I went on a date a few days ago with someone who seemed perfect for me on paper and who I've really enjoyed messaging but when we met in person, it was just like spending the day with a good friend. We got on just fine but I have no burning desire to meet up again soon, and have never had that with anyone. Why is this? Does everyone apart from me feel it and how long should I wait to see if this feeling develops?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2013): I wish you could put it in a bottle and offer it to those who are clingy and desperate.
You are surely open and available, but you don't fall for the first "good-catch" that crosses your path. You are a secure and confident woman.
You know what you're looking for. You're actively dating and you enjoy it for the pleasure of company and companionship. That is totally healthy.
You are of the select people, like myself; that realizes that everyone who has good qualifications, isn't fit for the position. You aren't desperately searching for love. Instead; you're allowing it to find you. That is what we're supposed to do. Be receptive to the chemistry.
Don't second-guess your practical approach.
Just avoid being superficial or too picky.
Don't develop preconceived notions, have unrealistic expectations, or set unobtainable standards. No one is perfect.
Stay level-headed, warm, and open-minded. You'll know when the right one comes along. Because you're patient enough to wait.
Don't worry, you're not some apathetic freak. You do have feelings; you may guard them to some extent. You should.
However; you know there has to be a spark; and that's what you should be searching for, not just settling for their good qualifications. My dear, you get it. Yet you question if you're normal.
I just want to caution you, and I suggest that you be introspective. Make sure you know yourself.
Don't shut men out, because you aren't over a breakup. Work on healing.
Don't hold out for fairytale love. It doesn't exist. There is no such thing as "Prince Charming."
Recognize that "Mr.Right" is the great guy who gets comfortably under your skin. He won't give up on you, until you know he's the one. He knows how to make you feel good about who you are. You don't have to fix him. There's no adding or subtraction, just equals.
Don't be cynical or bitter, because of past relationships. That is a sign that you're damaged. Work on it.
Don't expect men to cater to your beck and call. Divas are narcissistic bitches. All they deserve is an expensive purse, pretty shoes, and a tiny dog. Not a good man.
Don't project the "ice-queen" image. It is unattractive.
Keep all this in mind, and you're okay.
Let's just say you're not typical, and leave it at that.
A
female
reader, princessjasmine  +, writes (1 August 2013):
I'm similar to you. If you dont have a spark, you dont have a spark. Sometimes if you take some time, feelings definitely do develop. It happeend to me and it threw me off guard. I didn't like this guy at all but there was something about him that sparked an interest. He was funny and I wanted to be his friend and nothing more. Eventually, more came afterward. Sometimes you need a solid friendship to let a man in. Are you a capricorn by any chance?
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