A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Iam a 21 year old male and was wondering if it was normal that I don't like being touched. Every time people touch me I get really uncomfortable. Hand shakes and hugs are the exception and I don't mind any of those. I have had a couple of girlfriends but none of the relationships worked out because I don't like touching a feel uneasy about holding hands and being touched in any sexual way. In one relationship my then girlfriend tried to touch me down there and I got so mad and yelled at her to the point she started to cry. Iam not a bad person but I just don't like being touched. Is there anything I can do to fix this anxiety I have about being touched. And just in case everyone is wondering no I wasn't sexually abused when I was younger, its just the way I have always been. Thank you in advance for your responses. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 January 2012):
 There you go then, you know the reason why you have developed this anxiety. I can understand why your mother would want to teach you well, but she took it way over board and did not allow you to so much as touch your cousins arm or hug your sisters. That has set in your head that you are not allowed to touch others and they are not allowed to touch you, you now fear when someone touches you because your body feels that it is wrong and doesn't want to accept it, this is the way you have been brought up. You are not used to affection. You need to go and get professional help. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2012): It could be that this incident as well as other things affected you a lot. Don't give up hope, keep working on this, maybe with a therapist and in time hopefully you will gradually overcome this fear. You should discuss this with any future gf so that she knows and don't get mad at her over this. It will take time to get back to the touchable creature you probably normally were.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do believe I may have anxiety disorder. My mom was real strict about me learning to keep my hands off of girls and respecting them. One time when I was about 12 I was playing with my cousin and while we were playing in the living room and watching tv my mom had seen that I had touched her arm because she was showing me a bruise she had and told me to touch it, well my mom got furious and took me into another room and yelled at me. I have two sisters and I cant even remember the last time we gave each other a hug. My mom was just trying to teach me right, which I understand but I think because of this that I guess I just didn't learn what regular kids learn growing up from touching and such. I just hate it it affect my relationships and makes me self conscious about myself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2012): Aspies or people who have Aspergers are not overly touchie feelie, or some of them may be this way. Anyone who falls into the Autism Spectrum Disorders have this 'symptom'.This symptom of which you speak of could be a Sensory and Social Interaction related.Here are a few of my favourite links:http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/signs.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1250461/Why-autistic-people-avoid-hugs-loved-ones.htmlAnxiety disorders, Bi Polar disorder are also other things to take into consideration as to why you may not want or desire physical contact.ADD and ADHD people also have a touch senstive -sensory integration disorder known as tactile defensiveness or touch sensitivity. Research also Fragile X, Obsessive Complusive Disorder.Either way, time to head to the Family Doctor to have some testing done and possibly be refered to an Occupational Therapist that has an understanding in motor and sensory intergration.Hope this was of help!
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (25 January 2012):
 Hi
to be honest theres many times i dont like to be touched, its not abnormal, or anything to be ashamed of. its almost like it grates on you and makes you feel on edge. This might be because somewhere down the line you have been really emotionally hurt. so letting someone getting as close as to touch you is a BIG no go. or it is just a phobia, just as some people dont like water! either way this must be really upsetting for you, I would strongly advise you to seek medical help. Maybe talking about this more often will help you deal with it and realise your not the only one. But what I will add......the next time you meet a girl, inform her of your anxiety so she gets a heads up so as not to cause you to shout or be horrible to her through no fault of her own.
hope this helps
Mandy x
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (24 January 2012):
There is obviously something phycological in your mind that is causing this barrier for you. Where you ever physically harmed when you where younger? Not in a sexual way but it could be something as simple as being slapped that has made you build this barrier and doesn't allow you to trust people not to hurt you. It is a phobia that you are dealing with here, that is clear to see. A lot of people with Autism has a fear of being touched also. It could be that maybe you have a form of this, it would be worth getting checked out for. Everybody in this world needs there own personal space however when someone touches you, well then you feel invaded and that is when the anxiety creeps in. It is a terrible phobia to have.
To be honest with you I think the only way you can get to the bottom of this is to go and speak to a therapist so that they can get to the bottom of the root as to why this is happening to you. Some people also believe in Hypnotherapy to solve phobia issues. But you really should get help on this so that you can live your life to your full potential. Goodluck.
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