A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months. During that time, we split twice. The first time was for 3 weeks, the second time was for a month. The first time we split I had assumed he got cold feet. Recently, though, I found out that his girlfriend at the time was still living with him. We were only dating at that time, it wasn't all that serious yet. When I discovered last week the girl was still living with him when we met, I questioned him and he told me that he wanted to tell me what was going on, but he was afraid I was going to look too deeply into it and judge him. He told me he allowed her to stay in his home for a couple months after they broke up until she got back on her feet. When we stopped seeing each other for those three weeks , she was still living with him, and when she moved out he got back in touch with me. I was unaware of what was going on until a recently. He has been married twice. His second marriage lasted a month. I accidentally met one of his ex girlfriends though a knitting circle. She spilled everything about their relationship and it seems like he has a habit of telling women the same lines. I made a post about that in the past on this site and I was met with a lot of "don't be so hard on him, at least he's able to love again". Well, that's all fine and good, but I can't feel like I mean anything special to him and that I'm the only one he wants to be with when he has told god knows how many others the same. He has slept with over 20 women. I'm assuming that he was in a relationship with probably 15 of them. I don't have a problem with his head count, but again, I'm sure he told all the others the same loving sentiments that he's told me in bed and that makes me feel like they have no meaning when he says them to me. The second time we broke up for a month, he immediately jumped into another relationship. When he started to miss me, he tried to break it off with her and she started throwing a pregnancy claim in his face. He managed to get her away, and he doesn't know I know what happened during that month. I snooped and went in his text logs. Yeah, I shouldn't have done that because ignorance is bliss, but really, how can I trust him with my heart and my emotions when he's fully capable of shutting down and fucking another woman a day or two after we split and led her to believe he loved her?I don't feel like I matter to him. I feel like all I am is another income (he wants to buy a new home together), a warm body for his bed, and someone to wash laundry and cook food. Don't get me wrong, he's extremely loving and attentive towards me. He makes me feel like I am the center of his universe. But after everything I have found out, I'm really starting to doubt him. How can I believe him and trust him? Is it possible for someone to have had as shitty a love life as he has had and still be able to make it with someone later? Or do I just walk away and say that I don't want to be another notch on his headboard, and I don't want to risk my life where I'm living now to move to the country with him? I'm terrified that I am going to move up there and a month later he's going to decide this just isn't working for him anymore. I don't know what to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2012): Here's what you will do:Kick him out of you life!Don't care about what he feels, only care about yours! HE didn't care about those other women felt(including you). Do this for your own good, have some self-respect.
A
female
reader, AbigailBradbury  +, writes (24 January 2012):
 Wow no offence honey but this is very messed up. This guy sounds very untrustworthy and seems like he knows he can get away with anything with you. If you don't trust him then this is only going to end in tears...probably yours. Sorry to be harsh. If you really want to go ahead and be with him then that's your choice but do it for you and on your terms. Be careful. Don't let anyone ever make a fool out of you. Think long and hard before giving up everything for this guy x good luck x
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