A
female
age
30-35,
*arahprettybby
writes:Whenever an attractive girl walks by does your boyfriend/date secretly-but-noticeably "looks" at her? Is this a crappy boyfriend/date or is this normal?! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2014): It is immature. Immature in that the guy you are with has not realised that staring / gawping etc is plainly disrespectful to the person he is with. It "says" I am spending time with you but my mind is not totally focused on you. I find you attractive but I am still window shopping and diluting my focus. We all notice attractive people male and female but I would not tolerate a guy who did this to me. If you want to equal things out just make it really really obvious you are staring at guys and see how he feels about it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2014): Normal, yes.
Acceptable, no.
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A
female
reader, Sarahprettybby +, writes (2 February 2014):
Sarahprettybby is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLLifton...I also do the same! I see an attractive guy and I automatically look down at my phone or elsewhere. I just wish my dates would do the same :/ lol it's like I feel a pang of jealousy every time it happens even though I know the other girl is not a threat.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2014): I guess I don't have too much of a problem with it, we're all human.What makes it unacceptable, for me, is if the guy makes some kind of comment, like, "did you see her boobs?" (yes, I actually had a bf say that to me before) or if he does a non-discreet up-down scan of her. Glancing at other women is no big deal--staring at another woman for 10 seconds is just disrespectful.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (2 February 2014):
 is it normal? sadly, yes. does this make it okay? no.
can't even begin to tell you how many posts we've had about this particular question. to me, i think it's shitty and disrespectful. that's just me.
as a gay female who's extremely attracted to women, if i see a woman who even remotely looks like someone my gf would think i would find attractive, i completely turn my head and look the opposite direction intentionally. i don't ever want her to think i'm looking at another woman in that way. call me old fashioned, but i just think i'm with the most beautiful woman in the world and i want her to always know that. and i do everything i can to show her that. i don't think it's a lot to ask for men to be respectful and do the same. and anyone who says men are wired different and can't help it is just full of it. it's called self-control. i don't care if you're a man or woman.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (2 February 2014):
 How secretly? It's normal to look discretely every so often. Normal for YOU to do it too! it's not normal to be blatantly checking out every female person who walks past so hard his eyes might fall out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2014): If you have recently met or early stages of r/ship, and are on a date he should be looking at you! checking out another girl would want me to leave. I would feel unimportant to him.. obviously checking out an attractive girl walking by on a date with you is not very good date behaviour.
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