A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everybody, my name is Jess and I'm having a bit of trouble with a friend of mine. Well, I have a crush on my friend, and I need an answer:Is it normal for a guy to have flings after a 2 year relationship?Here's the issue. I asked him to go to the city to see a light show with me yesterday, and he said yes, but he asked who else was going. I was so nervous so I said that my other friend would join us. He seemed disappointed. So today I said it was just him and I, and he was very excited. So should I assume it's a date? Also he and I had a deep conversation yesterday about our past relationships, he admitted that he dated a girl for 2 years and broke up with her in January. But he also admitted that he had a fling with 2 girls in one Summer, this past Summer. Is that normal? I mean, I had a fling during the Summer too, but it was only worth a week. Does it mean that he'll try to have a fling with me? Also, should I be nervous if he kisses me? I have butterflies when I think of it, but not in a bad way.Please help, and thank you!
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female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (4 December 2011):
 Hi Jess,
You are over thinking the situation. It's quite easy, he was in a relationship for 2 years, he was single for a while for obvious reasons, by the summer he had 2 casual flings. Nothing wrong with that. To me, he seems like a nice, normal guy.
I think that if you like him, and if he seems interested in you, you should give this a chance. Everything seems healthy, and perfect. You should meet him tomorrow, enjoy, and have a wonderful time. Don't get nervous, and just be yourself. He clearly likes you as a friend, so you should not be too concern. Just enjoy, have a good time, and let things happen. If he hold your hand, kiss you, be affectionate, and if this is what you want, just go along with it.
Hope you have a good time.
Good luck
Ps: rather this is a date or not, doesn't matter, do not have to label... What matters is that he accepted..
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2011): i would say it is normal, a relationship in the past wont stop someone from having flings in the future..
but what you need to do is make sure its very known what you are after. a guy like this could be after a relationship or a fling, so you never know. just be sure to keep an eye out before you go too far wit him.
ask him what his intentions with you are, some time during the date
hope this helps
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2011): I wouldn't ever assume it's a date, I would ask him if he thinks of it as a date so there is no misunderstanding. Sometimes a guy will have flings after a long term relationship, it's there way of dealing with the break-up. It doesn't necessarily mean that he will try to have a fling with you, if he does try to get involved with you in any way, be honest with him about what you want, so if you want it to be a relationship tell him that's what you want. There is no should or shouldn't be's with being nervous either you are or aren't. You obviously want something to happen, don't over-analyze it let it happen naturally. I think the thing here is you want it so much and that is why you are nervous and questioning it all. Just relax and let thing happen naturally, if they happen and you will be fine. Good Luck.
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