A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My husband cheated on me. However I have no courage to leave the marriage until I meet my boyfriend. We are very much in love. I decided to divorce my husband. Now that we are divorced, we are still staying in the same house because of the children. Though they are already big. one age 21, age 19 and 16, we rather they still us in the same household.One of my sons who is closer to me knew of my boyfriend. However, I am contemplating telling my ex-husband about my boyfriend. Is it necessary to?I will however find a suitable time to tell my two other children. However, I dont know how to go about it. Pls advise
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2009): In reply to britt429, My ex husband never ever disclose to me his affair. What I saw was the lady's handbag left in the car and the sms message between them.
That is why I feel that I do not need to tell him either.
But to the children, I would definitely want to come clean with them and explain to them. Yet I am afraid that they may not accept it well if they knew I know him before the divorce.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2009): If you are 'very much in love' with your boyfriend why are you keeping it a secret? To me if you love someone then you will make it work, I take it you no longer have a relationship with your husband? or are you still very hurt and using the boyfriend as a crutch to make you feel good about yourself, sounds like you haven't moved on from his affair and are still holding a torch for him?? The kids are grown up now and will want to see you happy rather than living a false life. Kids are more resiliant than you think and will adapt to situations as long as you are open and honest-that means more. If there isn't anyting between you and your ex-husband then of course he should know about you boyfriend and arrangements should be put in place to accommodate your relationship with your boyfriend, if this is relationship is what you really want?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2009): Are you just sharing a house for th e sake of the children? No phyisical contact with your ex husband?You know your ex is he likely to react funnily if you say you have met someone new? How would this affect the atmosphere in the family home? There are things to consider and only you can really look into the pros and cons of telling your ex about your new man. Assuming all goes well then your next steps areTo make sure the children all know that there is no way you and your ex are getting back together as a couple but you are just friends. After a while introduce the idea of you moving on in your life and meeting someone new. You may decide to have weekends away etc with this new man, the kids should at least know you have met someone before this happens.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2009): I'm not sure if it is necessary, but if you feel the need, then do it! Is your husbands afair out in the open? Is he still seeing her? What sort of arrangement to you have with your ex? Have you agreed that is okay to see other people? Could you explain further so we can get a clear picture of what is going on here?
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