A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Yes I am looking for a decent well kept man that doesn't drink, do drugs ,and does believe in hitting women .I don't understand why do I attract these type of men if they aren't doing one then it's both or all three.I am so tired of this cycle.I mean I just don't understand what is it they see in me that I look like that love to deal with this type of mess. :(
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (1 September 2012):
 Any man who raises his hand against you is absolutely atrocious.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2012): Thanks you guys for your input but these men weren't met in bars either at home or introduced to me .One guy didn't drink ,or smoke he was just to controlling mentally and physically and a womenbeaters.And on the friendship level we went to school together were classmates the whole nine yards we had a family he was just a pure damn coward.So now I am just being single for now it's been awhile and if I don't ever be in a relationship that's fine by me I don't need no man raising his hand to me talking off the wall and acting as if I am his child.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (1 September 2012):
 I believe that I see it, almost universally, that women who inquire "Where are all the "good" men?" define themselves at the partner/mate of a man.... and NOT as a woman who is herself, first. Consequently, rather than viewing men as "dessert" ... (they) view men - and their relationship with him/them as the "main course."
IF you think this "sounds" like you... then I recommend that you keep away from any/all men for a while (six months is probably the right time-duration)... and learn who YOU are.... AND reconcile that YOU can have ANY man you want.... BUT you have to be sure that, if you hang out with a guy, it's because it's something that YOU want... and damn whether or not is to accomodate HIM!!!!
Good luck...
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (1 September 2012):
I'll agree with "Karlos5031" that a gym might be a good place to meet a good man, and i'll add church. But in America's environment today, with our current leadership, high unemployment, etc., I think a lot of men and women are possibly slipping toward drugs and alcohol.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (1 September 2012):
 Yes it is you. There is something these men possess that attracts you BEFORE you discover their dark side. This is what you must analyze. Think hard about the characteristics you found interesting in each of them. What do they have in common? Were they funny? Light-hearted? Spontaneous? Talkative? Yes, they could have been hopped on some kind of drug that brought this to the surface, unbeknowing to you. I have found that when you repeat the same pattern, there is something common with it. Plus you may actually be meeting men in the wrong places. It's like the girl who ends up with an alcoholic boyfriend, turns out they met in a bar. So think about where you're hooking up with men. Maybe you need to change the environment, because you might be less likely to find the same type of man. Drunks and druggies do hang out in bars and honky tonks. So that might also be part of the problem. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2012): I don't think its that you attract these sorts of men specifically, but if you're an attractive woman, not many straight guys are going to pass on the chance to be with you, and I think you've just had a run of bad luck with these types of men (The hitting women part anyway).
As for the drinking and smoking, maybe join a gym or something like that, as its healthy, and you may meet a guy who takes pride in his health and who doesn't drink or smoke.
Also, you should spend a little more time in getting to know guys as just friends first with no emotion involved, before making a decision as to whether they're dating material or not.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (1 September 2012):
 Don't think it's you. You will attract all kinds of men. Men of low quality want love too, and they will try whoever's available to them. Most of them don't want to intentionally hurt women but they let emotions get the best of them. It's just that men who are abusive, drink and do drugs get single sooner and they are out there more while the quiet ones sit at home and hope they get emails from dating websites. The good ones are taken so it will seem like all you see are men who are not worth it. I hope you can screen out men sooner, before you get to see their dark side that you can't accept later. Men of good quality are more available than you think. You will have more success if you narrow down what kind of men you would like. Just being nice is not enough. Then be hopeful that you will indeed find such men.
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