A
female
age
30-35,
*islilgoobear
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. We just graduated high school and I have lived with him for almost a year now. I spend every other weekend at my aunt's house and when I come home I find that he has spent most of the time searching over abundantly sized women on any porn site imaginable. He tells me that my small size is enough and fine for him but I can't help but feel like it's not. He searches only women like jenna jameson, chloe viera, petra verkaik, and pandora peaks. All very bustly pornstars and while he is searching these he searches for a woman he has had a crush on for a year now. He denies searching this woman for anything other than to show her our grad pics, and for the porn he says that he NEVER masterbates to them he is just curious about them. I don't know if he is losing interest in me or what he could be thinking. I have even told him that I would look at the porn with him and fix his arection if need be, our sex life is fantastic, in fact since catching him looking at porn he seems to want to go longer...but another question how do I know that it is me that is keeping him going??? I NEED ANYONES OPINION AND PLEASE BE HONEST HARSH WORDS OR NOT, I JUST NEED TRY AND SEE WHATS GOING ON IN HIS MIND...
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female
reader, hislilgoobear +, writes (23 July 2008):
hislilgoobear is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanx you guys after reading what you guys said I researched up some others questions and it all helped me come to a conclusion. He (just like every other guy) have to see a variety maybe it's to keep the from getting bored with the same thing all the time, either way I do realize that it is a fantasy that will never come to reality and that I should lighten up on this situation. After all he comes home to me every night and tells me he loves me and his ideal version of the person he wants to grow old with is me not the person with the body of a pornstar. He's had them, and they didn't stay. I must have something special to him about me right? And besides I'd rather he got his fantasies out on the internet than to find that porn star image in person. Maybe with his crush on his health teacher will vanish after he can't get to her after awhile. I think that maybe he wants to stay in touch with her to keep his crush alive. But if he can't you'd think that his crush would die down right? Yea he knows where she works but that means he'd have to have his dad bring him there and I'll be going to school right next door to her, so he'd take the chance of running into me and I don't think that they would do that. I know that he loves me alot I'm the first girl that he's been with that ever truelly meant anything to him and I think that he doesn't know what to do or how to react when he does have these crushes. But I do want to thank you guys alot for your comments and especially pshycookie you really helped me out, you'll make an incredible therapist some day. You took me from wanted to break down and cry to kind of understanding him with his (male perspectives) Thank you thank you thankyou...You could have very well saved our relationship.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008): "our sex life is fantastic, in fact since catching him looking at porn he seems to want to go longer"....Does it really matter if he makes you feel good and you have great sex? Do you really want to kill the golden chicken just to find out where the golden eggs come from.
What's he thinking, what does porn mean... Well here are some links, you can find more on the board under pornonography. Please particular notice to the responses from men, this is probably how your boyfriend feels as well. Remember don't sweat the small stuff, it just aint worth the trouble. Remember that I am pro-tolerance and have no problem with porn as long as it is kept in it's place and dosen't interfer with normal life or relationships. Other people may have different views.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/can-men-please-tell-me-why-they-watch.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/hes-addicte-to-porn-but-hes-perfect-in.html
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (22 July 2008):
 To be honest, I(we) don't know what's on his mind either. There are people who are too complex to know what is going around with them, but also there are some people who are pretty straightforward. Now what you could do is ASK HIM what's going on his mind when you have sex, if he thinks of you or porn. Since you have been with him for 3 years, lived with him for 1, and I assume you have a good relationship, I think your communication bond with him would be really good so this shouldn't be such a problem.
Now from what you have said, it's a very common thing in guys. Guys are easily stimulated by watching and him looking at other women is a common trait. The breasts of the woman is one of the things a man desires the most so looking at a very busty woman is again very common. He has already told you he likes your body and that it turns him on.
Now what I think is that since he has looked at porn he has come to be more attracted to your body because he may compare you to them and think of them almos or equally attractive. He may realize that what those girls have are fake but what you have is for real, which stimulates him more. But this are just my thoughts.
Now like I said, ask him what he thinks of you and what he's thinking of you while sex. Ask him if he feels less attracted to you. A good way to realize this is by asking him to compare you to the girls. But the big thing you have to do is TALK to him.
Good luck and I hope you find your answers
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