A
female
age
51-59,
*andygrrl
writes:I've been having this affair with a married man for 8years..he also has another girl on the side that he has gotten pregnant twice..I believe his wife is leaving him and he is under some stree..we have sex at least once a week..lately it's been like every other week but he is hard right away every time he sees me..the other day he called me and insisted on seeing me before work because he wanted me so bad so i met with him..I went to give him a blow job(he has always told me he likes mine the best I always get him off)..and he couldn't get hard..he actually told me to stop ..he said he got a phone call right before from work and his boss wants to talk to him so his mind was somewhere else..he kept saying sorry I said it's ok and left...I asked him later at work if he was ok he said oh ya it was nothing(talking about the phone call)..but he never asked to see me again after work or anything..I'm not sure if it's me or what..but he hasn't asked to see me since..I don't understand it's never been like this and he has never nit gotten hard..what is going on does he have someone new or just a lot of stress because he got the other girl pregnant and his wife is leaving him?...someone plz help because I'm feeling like it's me
View related questions:
affair, at work, blow-job, married man Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Wisdom  +, writes (21 May 2012):
 Because its never all about looks, Most people in relationships will tell you that whilst looks are somewhat important they are actually very little of the relationship.
He is not with you because although you maybe the better looking one you are not the one he loves. He saves that for his wife. he knows you have low self esteem and that is why he is using you (you are easy to manipulate) now you started seeing him at 30 you are now 38... How much more time are you going to waste? He is not goign to be with you and he won't leave his wife.
Find someone who will love you and look after you, you deserve that. Break this nasty cyle and move on.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (18 May 2012):
 The answer to your questions, he doesn't love you, if he did he wouldn't have treated you the way he has for the last five years, he is a player, he probably tells his wife and his pregnant other bit on the side that he loves them as well. He probably tells the other woman that she is the best looking, and probably tells his wife he will never find another woman as attractive as she is. He has messed up and now his wife is thinking of leaving him which will probably make him stressed as it is her he wants to be with you, not this girl pregnant with his child, and not you either.
No wonder your self esteem is so low, anybodies would be if they were getting used and abused for 8 years and being treated as nothing more than a bit of fun when he can have it. You need to get strong, show him that he cannot keep using you the way he is. Tell him never to contact you again, go get yourself some therapy to deal with the after math and then move on.
...............................
A
female
reader, Randygrrl +, writes (18 May 2012):
Randygrrl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes I do feel bad I really do but I like him so much and have that's why I have been doing it for 8years...everyone has told me that he is just using me for sex and that's it..I didn't want to believe it..I have very low self esteem and I've had a lot of cosmetic surgeries done to improve things I think are wrong with me..he has always told me that I'm the better looking one out of his wife and his girlfriend but he does only seem to call me when he wants something..he is always telling me he loves me and because I've never had that before I believe him so I give him what he wants....and that's why when he didn't get hard I took it personally like I didn't look good or he changed his mind and he didn't want me..this has put me in a serious depressed feeling of rejection mood..I feel like if he loves me why would he ignore me?..I feel like if I was the better looking one why does he not want me?..this just has never happened to me before and I'm so confused...I'm 38 years old and I really don't understand
...............................
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (18 May 2012):
 Stress kills wood like i kill the damn weights.
...............................
A
female
reader, Wisdom +, writes (18 May 2012):
lets see, He destroyed another girls life, his wife is going to go (that is the one he really loves) and he is probably under pressure at work...
He woke up, thought I want a BJ, wifey won't do it as she is a bit pissed off right now, other girl is pregnant.. oh yeah I have my old reliable bit on the side, ill give her a call....
Really thats how you want to be seen? 8 years??? Forget his erection dysfunctions and start looking at your own.. I agree with the other comments.... you deserve better than this
Good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (17 May 2012):
I doubt that it is you, at the end of the day he only meets with you to have sex that is about it, so if he couldn't get hard then maybe his concious is finally getting to him about how he is treating his wife like dirt and how he has ruined some poor girls life by getting her pregnant when all he wants is to have sex and then come home to a nice warm bed that his wife has been heating.
To be honest I don't care why he could not get a hard on, there are many reasons, and maybe now he realises he doesn't want to keep messing with your life as well. What concerns me here is you have been sleeping with this man for 8 years, assuming behind his wife's back? How do you feel about that? How do you feel that all he wants from you is sex and nothing else? Would you not rather get a guy that is yours that you can be with full time and have a happy life together? I never understand why someone would not want that, instead they get a quick fix once a week from a married man? Do you not feel guilty about that? Or even scared that you might catch something from this man?
...............................
|
