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female
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anonymous
writes: Ok..is it just me or is my mom being really unfair? ever since i dated my bf she's been going psycho. The only reason i think she doesn't like him is because of his nationality. She picks fights with me everyday, and each time i go out with him. She says ever since i met him i've been disrespecting my parents. And yea i admit i talk back to my parents but i think whatever she brings up is unreasonable, then i get mad and she uses that against me saying i'm disrespecting them. For example today i told her i was going out with him, then she gets pissed off doesn't say anything and walks away. Then like 5-10min. later she knocks on my door i answer then she asked where did i get my ipod from, and it was my bday gift from my bf and i was pretty sure she knew that, then she just threw a tantrum, started saying a whole bunch of stuff like i only like/use the stuff my bf buys me and i just put her gifts to the side which is totally untrue. She says stuff like i'm using my parents and she will pretend she never had a daughter like me born. She says i never listen to my parents i only listen to my bf, and i can go on and on about it because theres so much more but i don't want to be writing a book here. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, agu30 +, writes (11 December 2006):
If you ask me your Mom is just afraid to lose her "baby" girl to some guy.Thats what parents do is try to do what is best for you...you are still a baby to your mother and she wants to keep you safe from the world around you she is taking it a little over board but I think you should explain to your mother that you love this man you may infact marry him (even if your not saying this could make her feel much better)tell her that she does not have to worry about you and that your boyfriend takes good care of you as well.(again even if he doesnt still say he does)
Try to reason with her parents can be very uncoroperative
if they feel they may be losing there child.
Hope that helps,
Dr.Ravenscroft
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell anyways moving out is one thing, but i don't think it really solves the situation.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell yea i would move out if i could i just don't have a really stable job right now, and the last time i checked my parents weren't going to let me out til i'm married. But then again i guess it would be a different story when i'm totally independent. I don't come up with those teenage arguments as u say, my mother just comes up with all sorts of weird stuff to get into an argument even when everything was fine at first, she'll all of a sudden turn into another person.
To Anon reader below willywombat i'm not dating a foreign national, were both asian born in the states. It has nothing to do with getting citizenship.
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (10 December 2006):
 Right you have asked for advice and you may not like what I am going to say, but tough!!
You are TWENTY_THREE years old. Why are you still living at homw if you dislike the way your parents run your life. Get out!! Get a job, move out and stop being such a teenager about this.
I started to read your letter expecting you where about 16 and thinking 'here we go, more teenage angst'....then suprise suprise....you are what is classed as a grown up and have been for 5 years. Yet you still cannot live like one cos you are still at homwe having teenage arguments wioth your parents.
Grow up, move out, move on with your life and see whoever you wanna see. But whilst you are under your mum's roof....like it or lump it, cos there she makes the rules.
Thems the breaks....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006):
You are dating some one who is appearently a foreign national. So in addition to all of the other alterier motives a guy could have, this one might be in just to marry you and get citizenship.
In college my wife worked at the college registrars office. At least 5 forgein students per week tried to date her *because* they wanted to stay in the country. One of them even told her it would just be a marriage of convience, they wouldnt have to have sex, and then when he became a doctor he would divorce her and move to New York City.
I think you do have to consider that your mother legitmately be worried about this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYea i also forgot to add that i'm 23. I've tried to keep it a secret from her but then she still found out later on. It's like a war room at home. I don't see whats so wrong about me to go out with my bf, then at the same time i see younger 18 yr olds dating but they don't have a problem with their parents =/ i tell her that shes being unfair but she talks to me like i really did something wrong. Then whatever we argue about, if she goes crazy enough she'll call my bf and start yelling at him...and my bf is 30...
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A
male
reader, moomoomoo  +, writes (10 December 2006):
 Wow , I only had to read the first few lines to tell you, "OF COURSE SHE'S BEING UNFAIR".
Parents just don't understand.
I don't know what you should do aobut it, but you've gotta solve it somehow unless you are able to move out to college sometime soon. Or, you can have your relationship in secret.
Sorry to say this, I think your mom is psycho and a control-freak. Almost like that mother in Malcolm in the Middle.
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