A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Do men ever think highly of women for anything other than how the look. My partner never seems to give credit to any woman based on anything other than her appearance and I've been thinking that this actually seems to be such a common thing when I look around. I can name loads of men I have been taught to respect from the time I was in school all based on their achievements not looks, but very few women. All he ever has to say is comments on her body. Even if she does a achieve something awesome like in sport or science he only will say one thing about her looks, which is pretty much always backed up by media comments too. Is he like this because of society or does he just not respect women? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2017): Yes, men care a lot about looks. Looks are not the most important thing as the relationship becomes long term and if they are serious about a woman. They then look at her total package. But at first, a woman's looks are what attracts a man. But they are not what keep a man's interest in the long run. So, if a man is looking for sex, he may go for the hot girl and not care that she has no brains. But if a man is looking for a wife, he will be attracted to her for her looks as well as all her other qualities such as compassion for others, intelligence, sense of humour, her personality, her honesty and many other qualities and quirks that she has.Men do judge women as pieces of meat based on looks alone. All the time. Just the way they are. Just the nature of men. I know one who has a bangable scale. He rates women from 1-10 on how bangable they are. It is shallow and sexist but meant to be harmless from the guy's point of view although it really isn't nor is it respectful for the women being rated.My boyfriend is obsessed with my looks and body. Yeah, the same guy with the bangable scale. Wasn't going to admit it but I just did. Every time I ask him what he sees in me, he says I am gorgeous and beautiful and that he loves my body and mentions everything about my body that he finds perfect, which is everything. I ask him WHAT ELSE??? Then after I prod him, he will say other things. But, I have to admit it is a bit demeaning if that is all they care about. And there are plenty of shallow men out there. Women too for that matter, although I think in general women are able to look more past the physical and fall in love with the heart of a man.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2017): Of course the not hit women would still get married and have kids . Just because looks is all men acre about doesn't mean there's enough hot women to go around . Men have to take what they can get and although they may dream of a hot woman they will not give up the chance of having sex marriage or kids even with a woman who's not hot , if that's all they can get
That proves nothing about whether looks is all men care about
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 February 2017):
 If looks were the only thing MEN cared about all the not "hot" women would never date, marry or have kids. So no, it's NOT the norm to think that looks are all there is to a woman.
Your BF sounds like a twat with little respect for women.
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (11 February 2017):
A man who has a girlfriend or wife should be interested in her looks and not how attractive other women are. Your partner is both narrow-minded and inconsiderate.Most men I know measure a woman as a person, not a sex object. To answer your question, he neither values or respects women and looks at them like they are purely sex objects. There's a good chance he could have learned this from his father or other males he saw as role models. Perhaps he has an inferiority complex. I would find his behavior extremely annoying, and I can't imagine how much it must upset you. Yes, there are other men like him around but I doubt he is like this because of society...it is more likely the example he was exposed to when growing up.You say he is your "partner." I hope you are not married to him or have children by him. I would leave this guy.
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A
female
reader, 02DuszJ  +, writes (11 February 2017):
 More men than not have the intelligence and depth of character to look beyond pure looks- equal to physical attraction... Your bf doesn't seem to have a lot of depth/ intelligence or decency if the emphasis on looks clouds his vision of what makes you special. It's particularly demeaning to you for him to constantly s**t on your feelings like that... EVERYONE has strengths, good qualities and if he never compliments anything other than looks, he's not valuing who you are.Personally I would like to be with someone with a little more going on up in his head,, rather than own below.Maybe he'd intelligent but just VERY shallow. Honestly? I would like to say tal to him, ask him what he likes/ loves about you... Explain what you've said here to him... Only if he gives you an explanation you actually buy.If he's NEVER complimented past my looks, I wouldn't be persuing much with him though tbh. Maybe I'm wrong, depending on his answer, you'll know what to do. There is a chance it could be insecurity but I doubt it. Take care and write something down you like about yourself, are proud of. Then remind of yourself every day of that.A the end of the day, people who dont look like super models, who have great fun, respect, deep conversations and a complimentary bond to each other are the ones that last. He's out there.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (10 February 2017):
Both men and women do this and I'm quick to say something to them when I hear it.
I don't do it because I find the idea that people are supposed to look a certain way or you're going to talk shit a little simple minded.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2017): Is he like this because of society or does he just not respect women? Well I think it is a combination of both. It is true we are all bombarded with the importance being placed on the women's looks. YET most men who respect women will also have the sense to look deeper than that and value their achievements. What really concerns me is that he is commenting on women's bodies to YOU, his girlfriend. Yes, it is true most guys will look a little bit (sadly). However, if he had respect for YOU he wouldn't be checking them out so much and certainly wouldn't be describing it to you.I also get the feeling that instead of just appreciating them as being beautiful, he is kind of "evaluating" them on appearance. It sounds like his comments are both negative and positive? I don't like the highly judgmental quality to this. Beauty is subjective, it is fine to quickly glance and think "ohh she is lovely", but if he is actually nit-picking at people's features and body parts that just takes it to a low level. He sounds like the kind of guy who would rank girls on a scale of 1-10. I would be VERY uncomfortable with a man like this. SO uncomfortable, I would leave. But that's just me.
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