A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have been seeing this guy for several months and was casual dating but i have began to fall for him. I know he is still seeing other girls and i am seeing other guys but its him i want i dont know whether to talk to him or not since i know he is a player or walk away? the thought of walking away from him hurts me soo much though. Some of my friends ive asked for opinions have said if he still seeing me after all this time there must be something cause just fun runs out and fades quickly but he could just see it as an easy way to get sex.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2012): If you want a guy to take you seriously then don't be the kind of girl who has casual sex with him or with anyone else for that matter. (If you can't get him without giving him casual sex then you won't ever get him with doing it either.)
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (16 March 2012):
Well if he is a player then so are you! You are dating other people, he is dating other people - you are both as bad as each other!
The general rule is that if you like a guy and want him to take you seriously a girlfriend potential then NEVER have a FWB/casual sex arrangement with him. Because as soon as you become FWB/casual sex then he knows you are easy, therefore you can never be the type of girl he wants as a girlfriend, the type of girl that can he can take home to meet his mum.
You are at the moment easy sex - guaranteed whenever he wants it. If he wanted you to be his girlfriend he would have made that clear by now, so I dont think you have much hope here.
He is NOT a player though, he is simply taking advantage of you giving him sex so easily. Any man would do that. And you are guilty of the same thing, you have been seeing other guys and using him for sex too, the only difference is that you have developed feelings for him.
So you have 2 options now; either walk away and learn your lesson that having a FWB/casual sex arrangement is NEVER a good idea. Or you can come clean about how you feel, and see what happens. Chances are he wont feel the same though!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2012): He sees it as an easy way to get sex....walk away. Save your feelings for somebody who values you, don't just give your body to somebody who doesn't care.
If he wants a relationship, he will know its on your terms and where to find you.But I think he needs to play the field for a few years yet.
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