A
female
age
36-40,
*eryjones
writes:I have a bad problem that i cant sort out.I fancy my boyfriends friend, even though though Ive only met him 4 times. I cant stop thinking about him and I know he likes me too as he has told me. I dont know what to do.We live 300 miles apart and only see eachother 3/4 times a year but im besotted with him.Is it just a crush or more.I live with and love my boyfriend, its just his friend excites me more. any advice please
View related questions:
crush Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, A Cappella  +, writes (10 April 2008):
 There's a big difference between love and infatuation. Infatuations is that feeling you get when you first meet and your heart races. During that time you don't see any of the problems and everything is exciting.
Love develops later. It's a lot stronger, but it doesn't have that initial rush, and it takes work to keep up. But it's SOOOO worth it.
Don't confuse the two feelings. You're infatuated with your BF's friend. It's not love. 99 percent of the time this type of situation will end in disaster if you follow up on this feeling.
It's time to take real stock of how you feel about your BF. If you love him, or think you could love him, it's time to work with him to reconnect. Love takes work, and anyone who tells you it's all happy-ever-after has probably been through a couple of divorces. But know that the work is worth it. It really is.
If you don't think you are or could be in love with your BF, maybe it's time to leave him and look for someone who could work on love with you. Whatever you do, don't stay with you BF and look for that new guy. It's a powder keg waiting to explode, and you don't want that.
|
